Sean Stephenson

Podcast Transcript

Clay Clark:
Yes, yes, and yes. Dr. Z, I am honored to have on today’s show an incredible guest.

Dr. Z:
I’m excited.

Clay Clark:
Sean Stephenson, welcome to the Thrive Time show. How are you sir?

Sean Stephenson:
I’m excellent. Thank you for having me.

Clay Clark:
Hey, today’s topic. We’re going to talk today about how to get over your addiction to pity. And I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty resilient person. I feel like I’ve pushed through a lot of adversity. And then I stumbled upon your story, and I just have to say in comparison to what you’ve gone through, I got nothing. So I’d love if you could share with the listeners a little bit about your background for people who are not as familiar with your background as I have become.

Sean Stephenson:
Sure, absolutely. So what I think you’re referencing there might be a value for everybody to know is that I’m about three feet tall. I’m in a wheelchair. I have a rare bone disorder that I was born with called osteogenesis imperfecta. And when I was born, the doctors told my parents that I wasn’t going to live the first 24 hours of my life, but I’m happy to report that 39 years later all those doctors are dead and I’m still here.

Sean Stephenson:
So it’s been a wild ride growing up in my container, taking on the challenges of life. And I really reverse engineered a lot of what it takes to not be addicted to that self pity as you had mentioned. And we’re going to get in to that in hopefully some depth today because self pity is something that we are all capable of using, utilizing, and having it just take our dreams away from us. And so I’m just pleased to be on this program and happy to share some in-depth knowledge, hopefully that helps the listener here.

Clay Clark:
Well, what I wanted to do on today’s show is I want to spend 95% of this interview teaching people how to overcome self pity, and I want to take 5% of it to provide the right backgrounds so everybody truly knows what you’ve gone through. I believe that I have a read that you have had over 200 bone fractures before the age of 18, and that you actually broke your collarbone from sneezing. Is this correct?

Sean Stephenson:
Yeah, it’s actually a little more in depth than that. So like I said, this rare disorder that I have is called osteogenesis imperfecta, and it causes the bones to be very fragile. So as you mentioned, over 200 fractures by the age of 18. And it was a very common occurrence to break the bones from sneezing, coughing. And I broke my collar bone one time just vomiting when I had the flu. And multiple fractures from putting on a jacket or a pair of pants too quickly, would snap the legs or the arms, hitting a bump too hard growing up in my wheelchair would break a few bones.

Sean Stephenson:
And so it was a childhood filled with a lot of physical pain. And that’s why I became so fascinated with studying the mind. And how do we live in containers and lives that are filled with pain and not allow that to just keep us down and not play a big life. So that’s where I really got into it professionally. I became a professional speaker when I was an early teenager.

Sean Stephenson:
And then about 10 years into my speaking career, I had a young lady come up to me from my audience. She rolled her her sleeves up, and she had cuts all up and down and arms. And she said, “Why do I do this to myself now?” No, I had no clue. I was a young kid in my early 20s. And I said, “Sweetie, I don’t know, but I’m going to go find out.” And that’s when I went back to school and became a professional listener, also known as a therapist, to understand the human psyche and how do we all navigate our own pain. Because whether we like to admit to it or not, we all have insecurities. We all have fears. We all have things in our life that could allow us to feel sorry for ourselves if we played that card. And how do we overcome that?

Clay Clark:
So I want to ask you this. When you’re going through an adversity, what do you say to yourself? I mean, what’s going on in your head right now today when something bad happens, when a rejection happens, an adversity happens, an injury happens, what do you say to yourself? What does that inner dialogue look like?

Sean Stephenson:
Well, I’ll tell you that the adversity has changed radically depending on the stage of my life. And I think everybody listening can relate to that. That the adversity when you’re in grade school is maybe not being bullied, or maybe being picked for the sporting team, right? And the adversity when you’re in high school and college is maybe finding love and romance, and then adversity later is your career.

Sean Stephenson:
And I had different sets of adversity. Mine was how do I navigate without fracturing a bone? How do I handle surgeries? How do I handle being stared at? But now at this age, I’m almost 40 years old, my adversity has everything to do with growing my company, building a business with my wife, making an impact on this planet. I don’t think as much about the physical adversities, even though they’re still present, because I have newer tools in my life to deal with the older challenges that I’ve dealt with my whole life.

Sean Stephenson:
So what do I say to myself? Well, the biggest thing is I have to focus on three areas to feel good, and I have to avoid focusing on three areas to feel bad. So the way I focus my mind is I focused on what I want, what I have, and what do I like. And when you focus on what do you want, what do you have, what do you like, you start to feel optimistic. You start to feel that there’s an energy coming to you. You start to see a big why to keep going forward.

Sean Stephenson:
But the problem most people have is they do the opposite. They focus on what they don’t want, what they don’t have, and what they don’t like. And when you focus on what you don’t want, you’re just obsessed with your fears. When you focused on what you don’t have, you’re obsessed with your entities. When you focus on what you don’t like, you’re just riddled with complaints. So a lot of dealing with adversity is just managing your focus.

Clay Clark:
So let’s say-

Dr. Z:
That’s powerful. That’s awesome.

Paul Hood:
That is good stuff.

Dr. Z:
I am writing it down.

Clay Clark:
This is like a knowledge bomb buffet. We’ve got-

Dr. Z:
Give him a couple more.

Clay Clark:
We need another boom.

Dr. Z:
I think three.

Clay Clark:
And then a holy cow.

Speaker 5:
Holy cow.

Clay Clark:
There we go. Okay, now you have said that suffering is optional, and that more humans are addicted to pity than anything else on the planet. Am I getting that correct?

Sean Stephenson:
That is correct. I mean anything that you are addicted to in terms of a choice or a substance, you only got addicted to it because you were first addicted to pity. You first felt like, why me? How do I get out of this pain? Why does this always happen to me? This sucks. Why did I get stuck into this container, this condition, this family, this mindset? Whatever it may be, right?

Sean Stephenson:
And so I do believe that suffering is optional. I think that we all fall prey to it. I want to make it clear to the person wearing their headphones or out listening to this out and about in their day that you are susceptible just like I am. Just like all the guys on this show are susceptible to self pity. It will come and go throughout your day, throughout your week, throughout your month, throughout your year, in your life.

Sean Stephenson:
It’s not like I carved it out and that the great Sean Stephenson, that’s me mocking myself, that the great Sean Stephenson doesn’t feel self pity anymore. It’s acknowledging when I’m doing it. When you do it unconsciously, when you just think that that’s the normal MO to being alive is to feel sorry for yourself, that’s when you really get screwed. That’s when you really hold yourself back versus auditing your own thoughts, your own feelings. This is why I like to journal. I’m constantly journaling out my own thoughts just so I can see them in print and think, is this what I want to keep thinking? Is this what I want to keep feeling? Is this what I want to keep focusing on?

Clay Clark:
You have said that you discovered at a very young age that when you do feel sorry for yourself, people back away from you slowly. And that when you do make light of things and have fun and make people laugh, people creep towards you. They inch towards you, they’re kind of drawn to it when you bring them good feelings. When did you discover that, and how did that truth impact your life?

Sean Stephenson:
Well, the memory that just popped up because sometimes the things we discover, we discover them over time. And then each time we get reacquainted with it we’re like, ah, yeah, I think I got this lesson two years ago and I needed to get it again. Oh, I got this two days ago and I needed to get it again. So it’s not like I just found it behind the refrigerator one day. It was like a series of being reacquainted to it.

Sean Stephenson:
But the first memory that I have today that popped up around this is when I was in high school, I had a physical disability. I looked different. And there was this other kid who had a different physical challenge. And I remember I was a senior in high school and he was a freshman, so I was a part of a mentorship group with this young man. And his father came to me and said, “Would you mentor my son. He doesn’t speak up. He doesn’t ask for what he wants. He feels bad that he’s in this wheelchair. And he looks up to you for having the confidence that you do.”

Sean Stephenson:
So I met with this kid and I said, “Listen, you feel like your personality is because you don’t have a choice because of your disability because you feel like people are alienating you. You feel like you are different. You’re focusing on all the things that suck about having a disability. And the reason why you’re looking up to me and the reason why I’m doing a lot here in school, and why I’m going to go places in life is because I’m focusing on all the wonderful things that this disability brings.”

Sean Stephenson:
For instance, when I roll into a room, everybody remembers me. Everybody looks at me, and it burns an image into their mind because it’s so radically different than what everybody else looks like. And that is gold. That makes me sticky in people’s minds. And in business we call that really good marketing. So my container, I felt like was a genetic advantage for being memorable in people’s minds. And then if I was able to, and I figured it out, if I was able to create an experience where people enjoyed being in my company, linked with being very sticky in their mind of somebody that they’re not going to forget because of the novelty of what I look like, this could have a lasting impact where people want to spend time with me. They can’t forget me. Years later, they’re still going to remember my name.

Sean Stephenson:
I just ran into some kid at a local sports bar. I was watching a football game. And he was like, “Sean.” And I was like, “Yeah?” And he’s like, “Do you remember me?” And I was like, “No, I’m sorry, I don’t.” He’s like, “Oh, I went to grade school with you.” And I’m thinking, dude, you went to grade school with me. I looked the same basically that I did in grade school. Maybe a little-

Dr. Z:
Now you’re just bragging. Now you’re just bragging.

Sean Stephenson:
Maybe a little more wrinkles and less hair, but you could spot me in the crowd from grade school and just like you could now. This kid, I had no idea who it was. So he mentioned his name, and I was like, Oh yeah.” Well, I remembered his name. But that’s the genetic advantage, one of the many genetic advantages, to this container is that it made me memorable. That stuck in people’s minds. So when you create an atmosphere where people enjoy being around you, that gives you a huge advantage in life.

Sean Stephenson:
Nobody wants to spend time with the feel sorry for me crowd. Nobody wants to spend time with the angry, bitter, the world sucks, I hate this. The only kind of people that want to spend time with that are people that are like that. The average person that wants to be positive and happy, they’re going to naturally, energetically be repelled by that lower frequency attitude.

Dr. Z:
Sean, do you recommend anybody out there to cover themselves in honey to become more sticky, or is that a move you would endorse?

Clay Clark:
Is that a move? Is that a move?

Sean Stephenson:
If you then roll yourself in M&Ms, I would recommend that.

Dr. Z:
Oh, that’s a good… now see.

Clay Clark:
There you go.

Dr. Z:
Thrive Nation, you’re welcome. You’re welcome on that one.

Clay Clark:
Now Sean, I want to ask is because your book is very sticky. If people have not purchased your book, Get Off Your But: How to End Self Sabotage, they really do need to pick up this book. Now this book was actually endorsed by Tony Robbins. And if somebody does a little bit of internet searching for your name, Sean Stephenson, they’re going to find pictures of you with Richard Branson, you and Tony Robinson. I mean you are like-

Dr. Z:
We need to get our picture with him.

Clay Clark:
We need-

Dr. Z:
We need-

Clay Clark:
We need… Where are you? What state do you live in there, Sean?

Sean Stephenson:
I’m in Arizona.

Clay Clark:
Arizona, well.

Dr. Z:
Wow.

Clay Clark:
That’s just a short-

Dr. Z:
Hop, skip-

Clay Clark:
Hop, skip, and a plane-

Dr. Z:
Just a plane-

Clay Clark:
So how did you first meet Tony Robbins. How did that relationship first start?

Sean Stephenson:
When I was in high school, I got asked by this guy there was just, I was… gosh, where was I? I was at a conference, and this guy came up me and said, “I worked with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and you have a lifelong disability. Have you ever thought about requesting a wish?” And I said, “Well, I’m not dying. I thought those were just for dying kids.” And he’s like, “No. It also is for people that have lifelong disabilities. Are you under the age of 18?” And I believe I was.

Sean Stephenson:
And he said, “If you could do anything, what would you do? Who would you want to meet? Where would you want to go?” And I had always been drawn to Tony Robbins watching his infomercials as a kid, and thinking, man, this guy’s got just such a great attitude and such a cool outlook on life. So I said, “I’d like to meet to Tony Robbins.” And a few months later I was hanging out one on one with him in a hotel in Florida after one of his events and we became close friends. And that’s kind of how all that started.

Clay Clark:
Well, let me ask you this. What kind of impact has his positivity made in your life? How has his mindset impacted you?

Sean Stephenson:
Oh, it’s huge. There’s only one Tony Robbins, and he is the Michael Jordan of the industry. And that’s why I always wanted to be the Kobe Bryant. The one that emulated-

Dr. Z:
There you go.

Sean Stephenson:
… and got within one ring of this. So Tony had a huge impact because Tony was very much the person that said that you’re responsible for your reality. And if you don’t like who you are, it’s your responsibility to change that. If you don’t like what you have, it’s your responsibility to do something new with that. And he also lives the biggest influence of why I became a professional speaker. It was Tony Robbins, Les Brown, and Wayne Dyer that shaped the course of my life.

Clay Clark:
Now you have mentioned the phrase containers a few times on today’s interview. And for the listeners out there who are going, what’s a container? Can you break down what you mean by container?

Sean Stephenson:
Well, we all have a body, right? And the body is shaped differently depending on our genetic structure and what we do with it. And I call my body a container because it’s something that’s holding my passion, my purpose, my spirit, my attitude. I don’t believe that my container defines me. I think it allows me to navigate the world, but it doesn’t make up who I am.

Sean Stephenson:
And I think a lot of people who are confined by their body. They don’t like how it looks. They don’t like the color of their skin, or the way their body is shaped, or how their voice sounds, or what their hair looks like, or whatever. They pick apart their appearance. And yet, they’re forgetting it’s just the container you’re in this time. I look at my body is kind of like an Uber. I’m very grateful for the ride. I’m glad to be here.

Sean Stephenson:
I don’t get out of bed and think, oh (beep) here’s this disabled body again. I got to deal with this. And why didn’t I get a normal body. At a young age, I did see that… I made a list of all the things that I wanted to do and experience. And none of the things that I wanted to do and experience were going to be held back because of my disability. They were going to maybe make me have to go roundabout ways and have to get very creative.

Sean Stephenson:
But I realized I wanted love. I wanted to be happily in a relationship with the woman of my dreams. I wanted to make money and be able to provide for myself, to be independently wealthy. I wanted to be able to travel. I wanted great friends. I wanted to make an impact on this planet. And nothing of those five things couldn’t be possible just because of the container I was in. And so I’ve just always gone out and I’ve looked for, what is it about my container that I love? What is it about my container that makes me unique? What is it about my container that I can appreciate today?

Clay Clark:
Paul Hood, our show sponsor, he has a question for you. Paul, I give the mike to you.

Paul Hood:
I do. Hey Sean.

Sean Stephenson:
How are you, buddy?

Paul Hood:
I tell you it’s an honor to talking to you.

Sean Stephenson:
Thank you.

Paul Hood:
Clay Clark, through his Thrive Time, and Dr. Z, they introduced me to all kinds of people. And if I went to college for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t gain as much knowledge and practical application as I do talking to people like you.

Sean Stephenson:
Thank you.

Paul Hood:
One of the other guys he’s brought in was a guy named Michael Levine. And Michael Levine says, success in life is how you play the cards you’re dealt. If you’re born on third base, you didn’t hit a triple. So my question to you is how do you, as a counselor or an advisor to people, how do you not just laugh every time you talk to people when they start telling you their problems? I mean, you are an overcomer. I love that. No excuses. You can do anything that you want to do. Because I think one of the biggest strengths that I’m hearing is the compassion you have on other people.

Clay Clark:
That’s a good question.

Paul Hood:
So how do you maintain that compassion when you just want to say shut up.

Sean Stephenson:
And that’s the thing. Being in my container and having my life history, I can say I have a tremendous amount of empathy for pain and empathy for challenges and struggles. And some of the concepts that I’ve come across in the things that I’ve learned, one is I believe that everybody is doing the best they can with the tools they have. Some people just have some crappy tools, and they need to upgrade their tools.

Sean Stephenson:
I also believe that if I had to have their body, their past experiences, their worldview, I would be no further along than they are. And I also believe by me just having that attitude of like, get over it. Look what I have to go through. That’s just going to put them further behind. They’re going to feel worse. It’s not going to inspire them.

Sean Stephenson:
People have to come upon realizations themselves. You can’t force awakening into somebody’s life. You can only invite them. You can only offer them. You can only be the example to them. So a big part of why I probably exude this attitude of, hey, you’re going to get it when you’re going to get it, is because I’ve learned the alternative doesn’t work. I’ve tried to drag people kicking and screaming into being more responsible, into being more loving, into being more successful, and you just can’t. You can only be the example.

Paul Hood:
That’s awesome.

Clay Clark:
I want to I want to deep dive in into your book because your book has so many knowledge bombs. And we have so little time. So I want to see if I can get into some of the lessons. And in your book you break down these six lessons that I think the listeners could really benefit from. So we’ll fire through a few of them here. Lesson one, start connecting. What is this section of your book all about?

Sean Stephenson:
Well, connecting is different than communicating. Our digital devices can communicate. That’s just an exchange of information. Whereas connection is an exchange of humanity. It’s exchange of emotion. And it’s important that we connect with other people that literally, and I talk about it in the book at some point, you can save someone’s life sometimes by just asking them how their day is, and smiling and telling them you appreciate the time that you got with them.

Sean Stephenson:
Because it can change the trajectory of their decisions. They can feel like somebody saw them, that they were seen and observed and cared for. And the ripple effect of that is pretty amazing. Connecting is about getting to know the other person. Because it’s easy, and I get into this trap too, it’s easy to just want to talk about yourself. It’s easy because that’s your wheelhouse. You know what you think, you know what you’ve done, you know what you’ve experienced. And it’s sometimes scary to get into an interaction with another human being and not talk about yourself.

Sean Stephenson:
But I strongly recommend that in order to connect you make sure that your equally requesting information about their life as much as you are sharing information about your life. Another thing that I found when it comes to connecting is don’t act like you know what somebody else is going through. I don’t think that works. When you tell somebody, “Oh I know what you’re going.” Through. Let’s say you’re at a funeral, and somebody’s dad just died. And you say, “I know what you’re going through. My dad died when I was 10.” And then you think you’re helping that person.

Sean Stephenson:
But I’ve polled a lot of people in those scenarios and asked questions, and that’s not what makes people feel good. What makes people feel good is asking them, how are you dealing with this? What are you feeling? Tell me everything. What are some of the things that are coming through your head right now. And then offering, “When I was younger, my dad died, and it sucked. And I don’t know what emotions you might be going through, but here’s how I dealt with mine.” And you can achieve so much more by doing some excavation, doing some investigation work, and getting to know their reality before you ever share yours.

Clay Clark:
You in your book, lesson five, you talk about choosing your friends wisely. You write choose your friends wisely. I’d love for you to break down what you mean by this, and why this is so important.

Sean Stephenson:
So studies have proven over and over that there’s a lot of conditions in our life that influence our level of success, our level of happiness, or income. So many different attributes. But the biggest is who you hang out with, your friend base. And the reason why that is is your friend base has influence over you. Whether you like it or not, you become like those you surround yourself with. And when you’re having a bad day, and you’re contemplating doing something stupid, or contemplating doing something harmful, or being negative and you share that with somebody in your peer group, if they say, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, you probably should do that dumb thing.”

Clay Clark:
Burn it down, burn it down.

Dr. Z:
Burn it down.

Clay Clark:
Absolutely. Burn it down.

Dr. Z:
Here’s some matches.

Clay Clark:
That’s not a good thing.

Sean Stephenson:
Versus them saying, “Hey, hey, come on now. You’re going through a tough time right now. Let me remind you who you are, remind you what you’ve done. Maybe remind you why you got started in this,” fill in the blank business, family, relationship, “in the first place.” And that is a positive, empowering example for you. They’re going to lift you up.

Sean Stephenson:
And I’m convinced that if you continue to get into dirty water, you’ll never come out clean. And that’s why our friends have such influence because when we’re having a bad day, we turn to our friends. And our friends unconsciously are influencing us.

Sean Stephenson:
That’s why anytime I want to improve an area of my life, I will turn to their friends in that area of my life that have better understanding and success and results with that. And I’ll spend more time with those people. If I need to get in better shape, I turn to the friends that are in great shape. And ideally, I want all my friends to take their health seriously. If I want to learn more about investing and creating wealth, I turn to the friends that really had that area as dialed in. And you become like those you surround yourself with. That’s why you have to be very careful who you let into your life. I’m convinced, and this might sound a bit extreme, but one negative person in your life can derail your destiny. One negative person.

Clay Clark:
Wait a second. Z, I want Sean to-

Dr. Z:
[crosstalk 00:27:33].

Clay Clark:
… restate that. This is powerful. Sean, can you restate that one more time?

Sean Stephenson:
Sure. When you are around these people, if you have one person that is negative, that is putting garbage and toxicity into your brain, and that you are exposing yourself to, they can totally derail your destiny. You can totally miss the mark for why you were put here.

Clay Clark:
Not only do I think that that statement, although people may perceive it as to be controversial, I think that right there is the number one situation plaguing anybody out there listening to today’s show who’s not getting success. It’s because it’s you’re surrounding yourself with idiots, or you are plaguing someone in your life by being an idiot.

Dr. Z:
Yeah. A little, but yeah, typically.

Clay Clark:
I know there’s been times in my life where I was the idiot. And I’m like, “Is it cool if I pee in the pool guys?” I mean, just a little bit of pee in the pool. I mean, it’s going to be a figurative idea.

Dr. Z:
It’s a big pool.

Clay Clark:
You know what I mean, though. There’s people I remember in college, Z, I hung out with guys who literally would talk about the gas stations that you could steal gas from where you wouldn’t get busted. Like it was some kind of life hack. Okay, Z, now you have a question for Sean now.

Dr. Z:
Sean, wow, what a fascinating story, and an inspiring story. And it just goes to show you that no matter what container you have, the sky’s the limit. Right?

Sean Stephenson:
[crosstalk 00:29:00].

Dr. Z:
I’m kind of curious as to couple questions actually, but if you could go back in time, this is one of my favorite questions to ask.

Clay Clark:
(singing)

Dr. Z:
(singing) And talk to yourself, say you’re 39 now, so let’s go back 20 years and you’re 19. you walked in the room and there you are, and you walk up to yourself and give yourself, tell you whatever you wanted to say, self, let me tell you something. What would you say to yourself?

Sean Stephenson:
I would say don’t go to that fraternity party when you turned 21.

Clay Clark:
I think we all would say that.

Dr. Z:
There we go. That’s the best answer I’ve gotten so far. I love it. The other thing too is what was the lowest point in your life, and how did you dig out of that hole?

Sean Stephenson:
It was 2017.

Dr. Z:
Wow. Recent. Yeah.

Sean Stephenson:
And I went through a business challenge with a business partner of mine. And we had been working together for a very long time. And I realized that it was time for me to go my own way. And I knew it was going to be really hard for this person. And breaking off, it was a business divorce. And if you’ve ever gotten any kind of divorce, whether it’s business or relationship, it’s painful. You have to split everything up, and there’s hurt feelings, and you feel like this jerk. And then it becomes you can get into a battle, and it did it. It went legal direction. And next thing I know I was involved in a lawsuit. And it was so hard and painful. And yet I will say I have never grown as a man emotionally and spiritually as deep and as accelerated as I did during that period of my life.

Dr. Z:
That’s awesome.

Clay Clark:
Sean, I have two final questions for you. I want to respect your time. Two final questions for you. And I hate two part questions because it’s kind of hard to… it’d be hard for me to answer two questions, so I’m going to go one at a time here. Question number one, is there a book out there, outside of your book, in addition to your book, is there a book out there that you’d say Mr. Entrepreneur or Mrs. Potential Entrepreneur, someone listening, this is the one book, in addition to my book, that I think that you should read. Is there one book that you say that book really changed my life, and every entrepreneur out there should definitely check this book out.

Sean Stephenson:
Yeah, I would say the War of Art by Steven Pressfield because that’s a book that I could reread every year and still get value from. It’s about the creative resistance that rises up that stops us from playing big, the creative resistance that rises up from facing rejection and building out areas of our life that we know we’re capable of. But we’re going to face some challenging, darker times maybe, but going through it anyway. That book had a huge impact on my life.

Clay Clark:
Now, Andrew, for accountability right now, while we’re on this show, I’d like you to purchase a copy of Sean’s book, Get Off Your But: How to End Self Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself so I can add it to my collection. I want to make sure we buy this book, we own this book. He’s going to buy it, Sean, while we’re still on today’s show. And Z, I know a lot of our listeners are going to do it too.

Dr. Z:
Why wouldn’t they?

Clay Clark:
Well, a lot of people say-

Dr. Z:
Get off your butt.

Clay Clark:
People say, “I want to do it, but I have carpal tunnel syndrome. But I’ll click, I’ll go ahead.” They’ll push through the pain. Push through the pain.

Dr. Z:
Push through the pain.

Clay Clark:
Push through the pain. Buy the book. Everybody out there.

Dr. Z:
Buy them up. Buy them up.

Clay Clark:
We’re going to purchase-

Andrew:
Thank you. You’re order has been placed.

Clay Clark:
Now leave a confirmed Amazon review explaining what a great mentor this guy’s been to our listening audience. Okay?

Andrew:
Got it.

Clay Clark:
Make sure that happens. Okay. Now, final question I have for you is how do you organize, how do you structure their first four hours of a typical day in your life? I think it’s so important that we start a day off successfully. We plan our day. Everybody we’ve interviewed who is intentional about their life seems to have a routine or a plan. How do you organize the first four hours of your day, and what time do you wake up?

Sean Stephenson:
All right. So I have something. I don’t know, you can tell me if it’s appropriate to share with your audience, but I have a gift on this topic for your listeners. Can I share it?

Clay Clark:
Sure. Yeah, sure.

Dr. Z:
Oh, sure. Yeah.

Sean Stephenson:
Okay. So I would recommend they go to theunstoppableformula.com. Theunstoppableformula.com.

Clay Clark:
I’m going there right now.

Sean Stephenson:
I have a course that I put together that everybody that’s listening right now, they can get absolutely free of charge. And it is a breakdown of what that day looks like. How do I put it together? And specifically what are you going to need to implement in your life so that you are unstoppable with your schedule and your purpose and your environment. Because those are the three basic areas of life is self care, life purpose, and empowering environment. And I break all that down in detail at theunstoppableformula.com.

Sean Stephenson:
But I can just tell you right now, I go through phases with my bedtime and wake time. Sometimes I’ve gone through, more like seasons. Sometimes I like getting up at 5:00 AM, and just getting so much done before the day begins. And then there are other times where I’m with like, you know what, I’m going to be a little bit more self care based, and get a little extra sleep. And I might sleep until 9:00 in the morning.

Sean Stephenson:
So I don’t agree with the mentality that the time of day determines your success. I think it’s more about the ritual that you stick to. I’m a big believer that in this entrepreneurial hustle game world that is being constantly pumped and promoted, the mentality of I’ll sleep when I die is actually killing people. And it’s accelerating-

Dr. Z:
[crosstalk 00:00:35:21].

Sean Stephenson:
… the process.

Clay Clark:
Z, you own a diagnostic sleep center. How many hours do you think the average listener should be sleeping per day?

Dr. Z:
It depends on their age, but eight hours is a good target.

Clay Clark:
Eight hours?

Dr. Z:
The younger you are, actually, the more you need. An infant sleeps much more than that. And the older you are-

Clay Clark:
If you’re 90, can you sleep like an hour.

Dr. Z:
You don’t have many shopping days left to Christmas, so you want to shop as much as you can. The older you get, it’s actually the less sleep you need technically. But I mean eight is a good target. And for people that come up to me and say, “Well, I only sleep like three hours. That’s all I need is three hours a day.” I’d go, “You’re killing yourself.” You are, technically. I mean that’s [crosstalk 00:35:59].

Sean Stephenson:
And that’s the challenge is a lot of people learn how to prop themselves up with caffeine, and then put themselves to sleep with wine at night. And that’s, you’re living in a trance. You’re not fully present, you’re not fully clear and sharp. And that’s why I have a set of rituals. I explain it at theunstoppableformula.com.

Sean Stephenson:
And one of the rituals is consistent, restful sleep. Because I know if I’m not getting that, I’m not good to anyone. My activity, productivity, it plummets, and my overall quality of life. It messes with your brain chemistry. And I like to set my brain chemistry up to win. We live in a generation where everybody thinks that, oh, I need to take some kind of pill in order to influence my brain chemistry. And yet, there are times where that’s necessary. But oftentimes, it’s how you were living your life. It’s your rituals, it’s your mindset. It’s who you’re hanging out with.

Clay Clark:
Sean, we like to end every show here with a boom, which stands for big, overwhelming, optimist momentum. So essentially, Z, lets kind of role play real quick here. We would say, three-

Dr. Z:
Three-

Clay Clark:
… two-

Dr. Z:
… two-

Clay Clark:
… one-

Dr. Z:
… one.

Clay Clark:
… boom.

Dr. Z:
And then actually physically say a boom.

Clay Clark:
We would physically say the boom. Are you prepared to physically bring the boom, Mr. Sean?

Sean Stephenson:
Oh, always.

Clay Clark:
Paul Hood, are you ready to bring the boom?

Paul Hood:
I am. I’m stretched and ready.

Clay Clark:
Andrew, are you ready?

Andrew:
I’m so ready.

Clay Clark:
Dr. Z, are you ready?

Dr. Z:
I might even pre-boom.

Clay Clark:
Unmiked John, are you ready to bring the boom? Okay, here we go. Here we go. Three, two-

Dr. Z:
Two-

Clay Clark:
… one-

Dr. Z:
… one-

Clay Clark:
… boom.

Dr. Z:
… boom.