Dave Jewitt (The Founder of Your One Degree) | Finding Your Personal Path for Finishing Well

Audio Transcription

What really fires you up on today’s show the founder of your one degree.com a man by the name of tape Jewett joins us to share why it’s important to find out what really truly does fire you up, what truly unleashes your passion and what you uniquely were born to do. However, what truly wears you out? What drains your energy on today’s show David Jewitt the founder of your one duckery.com shares had a find your personal path and the importance of punishing the world.

Some shows don’t need a celebrity in a writer to introduce the show. This show does to men, eight kids co-created by two different women, 13 moat time, million dollar businesses, ladies and gentlemen, welcome

to the thrive time show [inaudible] yes, yes, yes. And yes. Thrive nation. You are in for a very special occasion because on

today’s show, we have a guest who’s been twice referred, twice referred. What, what does that mean? Well, the CFO of the billion dollar company, Helmerich and Payne West, are you familiar with Helmerich and Payne? Is this a real company I’ve heard of that company before? Okay. The former CFO of the company, Doug fears says this guy, Dave Jewitt today’s guest, this guy knows his stuff. And then Cory Minter, who we have on the show from time to time be a founder of Trinity employment. He says, this guy knows his stuff. And so on today’s show, we have Dave Jewitt joining us to talk about finding your path for finishing well, Dave Jewitt welcome to the thrive time show. How are you, sir? It’s great to be here. I got to ask you because our listeners want to know when they go to your website, your one degree.com.

What is your one degree all about? Well, it’s really of the 360 degrees. You can go in life. We believe there’s one degree for you, your particular purpose, your, your sweet spot. So your sweet spot, your sweet spot. And by default, where are people going? You think people are going in the other 359 potential degrees? Or what do you think people are doing by default? Well, let’s just say most of them are doing 40 degrees, 40 degrees. Okay. And so I’m going to pick on Josh. Josh was living water irrigation. I’ll pick on you. And we’re going to run you through Dave Jewitt’s program here, whether you want it or not, you’re going down. So you were a startup, uh, how many years ago? Just about three years ago. Three years ago. Yes, sir. And for the first, uh, six months, it’s like, I hope I sell something. Yes, sir. And then you kind of move into, I think I’m selling some things and then all of a sudden, the pipeline’s full now you

got three years in and now the businesses is cresting over about a $2 million business and it’s growing things are good. We’ve got the compound referrals coming in. You get the snowball going? Yes, sir. Was there any point during that path that you thought, maybe am I going in the right direction? Did you ever have that thought? Uh, honestly, because of the support of my wife and because I knew that this is what we’re supposed to do, I honestly didn’t, but there was a whole lot of times where I wonder whether or not we were going to eat. Now, when you went to law school for how long did you go to school to become an attorney or did you do one of those overnight Puerto Rico

online and no, uh, three years of law school. Four years of undergrad. And then, you know, all the other years of schooling.

So did you ever have a moment during that path where you’re going down the path where you thought to yourself self, this is what I want to do.

Yeah. I mean, especially after law school, um, you know, school always kind of was a natural for me. I it’s something, I enjoyed something I was good at. So when you get out and start practicing and trying to find what area you’re going to practice in, uh, you know, it was probably a once a month, once every other month, you wonder, where am I going? What am I doing?

I think to Kendall, you can get a look at this on the camera real quick. I’m gonna pull up on the big screen when you’re, when you’re West Carter. One of the issues that you have as you have a fallback position at all times, like a lot of us guys, I don’t have a fallback position, you know, but Wes, uh, the male modeling thing has been always a fallback. This is some of West his earlier work here. Um, it looks a lot like Fabio that was early nineties. So you always have that fallback position. I could see where it be hard to determine a path day. There’s gotta be listeners out there right now who feel like by default that they’re not headed the right direction. So before you give them some direction, let’s talk about your, your path. Um, you’ve had a lot of success.

Now, a lot of people refer to you as, as, as their mentor, as a guide that helped lead them down the path. What was your, your, your path? How did your career start? Just walk us through kind of your early career. Yeah, like many, I graduated from college, a great business school and I, I really took it like it took a two year vacation from business. I got really involved in helping people figuring out how to help people grow in their, uh, their life, their life. And, um, um, but two years later I ended up working for a large corporation and I kind of drifted into it, the supply chain, Oregon and the supply chain, uh, business. And I really liked it. Um, I don’t know that I was super at it, but I really enjoyed business. I enjoyed their, the PE the, uh, relating to people, solving business problems, uh, uh, negotiating contracts.

So I did that for a number of years. And, but along the way, uh, I would spend my mornings usually, uh, helping, helping men, uh, grow in their, in their faith, grow in their walk as men in their, in their, as, or as husbands and as parents. So, uh, those two things were working together, uh, to lead them to where I am today. Um, the are not awesome. Um, but I will put them on the show notes. Um, according to the Washington post right now, 78% of men have cheated on their spouse. You’ve got psychology. Today is showing half of marriage. As we all know the stats, half the marriage is into divorce. There’s not a lot of positive stats there. I have met guys who have gone through the one degree program who have told me this thing was the best thing for my marriage.

This thing was the best thing for me as a man. And I, and again, this is a show people to turn it into the show for practical tips. And somebody might say, you’re making the show. Woo man, you’re making the show. Woo. But at the end of the day, I mean, a net, a great financial tip is don’t lose half your net worth by ruining your marriage, or, you know, so talk to me when you say you’re holding the guy, you’re helping a guy lead them down the path or help him on his Christian walk, or you’re kind of what does that mean? Well, you know, you start to develop a relationship with these men and they finally start to trust you with what’s going on in their life. And now they finally have a guy who called her stuff, stuff. I mean, I’ll call them on things, but I’m leading them down a path of how do you live?

How do you relate to your wife? How do you relate to your kids? And, um, and, and really is so important though. A lot of guys who just a drift into a wrong thinking about themselves, about life. And I’m a lot of tubs because they’re living outside of who they are. Uh, you know, they’re, they’re just trying to be somebody else because of something they heard or learned along the way. And when you live outside of who you are, it’s going to cause problems. Would you say, um, guys tend to drift into wrong thinking. I’m just gonna throw out some, uh, heavily non motivational statistics. Uh, ah, here we go. I’ll put links to all this stuff. So, uh, lip strong, uh, reports that four to 6 million men are problem gamblers in a country of 330 million Americans. Um, one in eight adult Americans is an alcoholic.

Again, the average Americans watching five hours of TV a day. I there’s so many stats where you go, 70% of people hate their jobs. According to Gallup, what is the most common wrong thinking that you have found as you’re sitting down with, with dudes who are in their, what forties, usually mid thirties were, where do you find the wrong? What is the most common wrong thinking that you have found? They are not, they are not enough. They feel like they’ve got to prop themselves up, but something that they, for some reason, they don’t feel like they have enough to contribute. Uh, they’re living in the past where their past mistakes, um, they aren’t looking forward in their life. Um, they don’t really know who they are. That that’s kind of a core thing. This is common. I absolutely very common. Uh, even the brightest of guys I meet with, they don’t have an adequate knowledge of who they really are.

Not a, not just in terms of their abilities or the personality, but what’s her story really about have they really, do they really understand what the story is? Have they embraced their story good or good or bad story? And Corey told me about you and, uh, Doug, I didn’t get into private conversations you had with him, nor am I going to ask about him? All I know is they said, he’s real with me. He was real with me. He was real with people. I know. What does that mean? And not related to those two guys at all, but I’m just saying if that could be a fly on the wall, is this like a one on one thing? Are we going, are we going to some group thing? Are we going to like a camp? What, where, where do these real talks begin? Well, it has really helped me to walk along in life, less 30 years with a group of guys, four or five guys. Okay. We, we have shared annually our, our, uh, we do a timeline of our life. Okay. We out and that we spent spent about an hour, hour and a half with each other once a year, talking through our life. And as you do that over 30 years, you start to become very

real with them. And I think the, I think the premise is if you go deep with one man, you ha you know, all men better. And, uh, but I I’ve become very comfortable with who I am, faults, strengths, weaknesses, um, mistakes I’ve made in the past. And I’ve actually learned that if I am open with that, people will benefit from my life. If I try to pretend to be somebody else, uh, they’re going to really miss out on the richness of what I had to offer as a person. And I think that I believe that about all people.

No. Well, one of the things you said earlier was, um, I think I heard it right. It was an accountability aspect. So, you know, entrepreneurs, small business owners, they’re not used to answering to anyone else a lot of times. And so is that accountability, a big part of that? I mean, just to, they used to call them on their stuff and then do they not realize sometimes that they’re just drifting along or they’re not finding their purpose? Or do you find that they’re just kind of diluting themselves full of themselves or are they just wondering around and where does that accountability come in?

Probably a combination of both, but the accountability is they aren’t, uh, we all have to learn how to be teachable. Yeah. You know, even with your kids. I think one of the first time I had to apologize to my four year old, uh, was a kind of a breakthrough, the, Hey, a son, I really blow. I blew it and how I handled you, but that teachability, uh, in life and then learning how to deal with adults. Um, and she want to be open to input. And, uh, and then when you get close to a bunch of men who really know you, um, when I get with these guys, I don’t tell them what I’m doing. I tell them what I’m thinking about doing and give them an opportunity to speak into it. And boy that has saved me so many missteps. Um, not that I haven’t had some, but I’ve have a whole lot less. And by the way, the countability, uh, what I’ve learned is I’ve gotta be, I can’t just have accountability. I have to have inspiration with those guys. I’ll keep showing up for inspiration. I probably won’t keep showing up with just accountability.

Now you, uh, your, your website, you’re one degree on there. There’s all sorts of things. People can find that you’ve written. They can hear more about the program, but I want to know, when did you have the idea that, you know, maybe I should start this thing and this thing should be my thing. This, this one degree should be your one degree. When did you discover this is going to be your passion project?

Well, along the way, you know, what’s great about being older is you have a lot of data in your life and you can get a chance to see what has worked, what hasn’t worked. And, uh, I like to say, um, you’ve learned how to hit a home run. I mean, singles and doubles, a lot of good accomplishments, but were the home runs were the things, when you do some of what you do, something special really happens. And I started to see a pattern of when those things were happening, especially in my late forties. And I started to shape a message, um, that I was learning about how, uh, how to help him, how to help a guy really understand who he is. He is, he’s more than just abilities. He’s, there’s Leafs. There’s a least six aspects of who he is. And, um, so as you experiment with giving material, giving an insight to people, you start to see what works with you and what works with your target audience.

And also you also start to figure out what really is your best target audience, who is your best target audience, my best target audience. Our guys are asking questions bigger than how do I find a good job. I want them to figure out how do I find the best life. Um, and, um, I believe that’s wrapped up in understanding really who you are and then stewarding it. I wanna, I wanna, I want to become a master steward of who I am. I can’t be anybody else when I try to be somebody else, I screw it up. So how do you help a guy really, really understand who he is and the how to best leverage it for, for purposes bigger than himself. Especially I read Phil Jackson’s book, uh, 11,

and, uh, third is a phenomenal book. By the way, if you get a chance to read Phil Jackson’s book, he’s kind of like a, I don’t know, think a philosopher that just happens to, uh, coach basketball, but at the end of the book, the very end of the book, he’s talking about his coaching career and kind of, uh, putting, uh, a title almost on like his life story. It’s like a summary quote. And he says, he has found that most people spend their entire life seeking. The one thing they can only find at home. And I thought that’s something that’s powerful. So, um, I personally came to the conclusion, the age of 27, much I can learn is that I don’t like to travel, but I thought I wanted to. Cause that’s what I, that’s what I was told. He does. He make, watch money.

What you gotta do is you gotta go to San Diego. You got to go up to LA. You got to see the redwoods out there. And San Francisco, you got to go see Seattle, you got a fresh, fresh fish ringing the guy, you know, ding, ding, ding, ding, you got to go to Colorado. You got to go to Jackson hole. You got to go to Boulder. You gotta go to Denver. You gotta do that. You got to go skiing. I do the Crested Butte. Brand-new Breckenridge. You got to go up to Minneapolis. You got to go see the Metrodome, got to see a biking’s game. You got to go up to Toronto this time of the year. It’s amazing. Got to go to the boundary waters. Got to do that. Need to go check out Louisville. The fireworks need to go see, you know, the Derby, you got to go down to Florida.

You got to see you got college football. Got to see it. Live. Alamo got to see it. This is where they all died. You got to go down there to the Riverwalk. You need to see this. You need to go see the brick town Riverwalk. It’s, it’s kind of a poor man’s Riverwalk, but it’s rare to walk. You need to go see Chicago Wrigley field. You got to do it one time. He got to see the nuts on Clark at some food. There gotta get some barbecue in Kansas city, got to go to Manhattan, got to see Chinatown, little Italy, got to see all that. And when you see all that, Oh, by the way along, I want the Hamptons need to go say, well, I’ve done all that tour of the United States. What I did it all before I was 27. So I got to the end of it.

I said, I want off this ride. You know, and I didn’t know what that meant. So I started marinating on it, reading Phil Jackson books, you know, that kind of thing. And I’m going, I love a man cave. So this man cave. If I were describe it to the listeners who can’t see kill him, you can film some of it, but it’s just black sheet rock. I’ve got concrete floors and I’ve got, you know, thousands of trees out, back in a fun, little staycation area books, everywhere, a five wonderful kids upstairs and a wonderful wife. And I’ve just found that the stuff that I want is only here. I don’t want to go anywhere now. I’m not ripping you if you want to go somewhere. But discovering that for me, that, that, which I wanted was at my own house. And it’s cheap. Like this room is so cheap.

This room, I, it got flooded there. A super David got flooded and the insurance guy comes in and the rest of the house is built like a normal house, but he looks at it and he says it was, it was pretty bad, pretty dramatic. Flooding saved all the books and stuff. But $17,000, I rebuilt my entire habitat. It’s like, I live in a bunker. Um, but I’m just saying, as I think somebody out there is thinking, once Dave Jewitt, once I make a million bucks, then I’ll be somebody. Once I have two locations on my business, then once they keep doing that, and then I see it all the time with my clients, because I help them grow their business. I don’t help them grow their life at all. I don’t do what Dave does. I help them grow their business, but then they’ll go, Hey, you know, I’m bored out of my mind. I’m traveling all the time, eating out every night. My kids are going to private school. When we’re busy, we got the kids. We’re going to every soccer game we’re going, you know what I mean? They’re super over-scheduled and they tell me, I want to off this ride, do you

see that a lot where guys are making financial abundance and they still feel empty? Does that happen? Absolutely. It happens all the time often and yeah. And they’re looking for something that really satisfies her heart. That really didn’t, it doesn’t happen unless first of all, you’ve figured out who you are. And uh, I see a lot of men and I didn’t learn this until my mid forties, but they just are. They’re just reacting to the demands of their environment, whether it’s at work and their society or their extended family. They’re just always reacting. And guess what? When you’re always reacting, guess what? You’re not doing, you’re not leading. Hmm. Okay. So, um, you don’t lead, you lead best out of who you are when I get a chance to coach some of the most phenomenal people. And I think one of the few, one of the reasons they come to me is because I have embraced who I am a great, I’m pretty ordinary, but I’ve embraced that.

And I’m, and helps me be real your client list. And again, it’s a private thing. It’s something you don’t share. I’m just telling you to people that referred you. There’s many super successful people. And I keep people, this is what they’d have. They describe you. And by the way, I would describe you as Tulsa’s Fabio, but men and men, but men and Tulsa say, he’s kind of like Yoda. And I was like, how’s he like you? They said, he, he just, he, he like asks me questions as opposed to stating things. He sorta keeps me captivated. I like him. It’s kind of motivational. But at the same time, I’m learning. It’s I it’s like there’s accountability and I’m going, I don’t get it. So I wanted to have you on the show. Cause I wanted to see if we could tap into some of that a little bit.

Josh, you had a hot question for Dave, cause this is, I mean, there’s so many people that, again, look to Dave Jewitt as a mentor, we got them right here in the studio. This is some good stuff here. What, what question would you have for Dave? So Dave Jewitt, I’ve heard, you mentioned two or three times now in the interview that, uh, getting minted to define themselves are getting to know themselves. So for our listeners out there and, and not able to get with you or meet with you, what’s an actionable thing they can do to, to begin to define themselves or get to know themselves. Well, the first thing we really start out with is we call them, we call them a drivers. What are the abilities that actually energize your heart? Uh, not just building abilities, you’re good at doing, but what makes your heart, uh, pump?

And, um, I think that’s what gets guys off track is they’re, they’re trying to do so many different things. When, when, when in reality, most of these guys have about 10 or so abilities that really energize their heart true. And they don’t do those things when they actually start doing those things and they start to weed out some of the things that are marginal. Oh yeah. And we call, we call these things, greens, yellows, and reds, green abilities, energize your heart. Yellow abilities are neutral. You can be very good at a yellow ability, but they’re, they’re neutral. And then you got red abilities that drain you. They actually can start to drain you before you start using them. And you guys guys get so sucked into

using their yellows and greens and yellows and reds most of the time. And it really starts to affect how they feel about things. They start having all these negative emotions about life. It starts to affect their marriage, their parenting, their relationships. They kind of go into hiding, pretending, posing.

I have two examples. I’ve seen of this and I’ll try to speak vague they’re West. So I don’t get myself in trouble. So I don’t throw anyone under the bus, but there are good examples. One guy I know very well. It’s good at basketball, like very good, like pro level. And we were talking one day and he says, uh, you know, I hate basketball and I’m going, what did you think of him? You think of basketball? He says, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m just good at it. But I’ve always hated it. I don’t like the culture in the locker room. I’m more artistic kind of guy. I don’t, I don’t like the bravado. I don’t like who I have to pretend to be. Cause I have to kind of like, not get intimidated. So I have to intimidate. I don’t even like the applause. Don’t like the travel, like what do you like doing?

We makes a list of stuff he likes to do. And we’re talking about it. Totally opposite of what he’s doing. No, this is at the pro level. True story. So what do you want to do, man? It’s like the shortest coaching client of all time. It’s crazy. So I just want to stop and get a job and just see my wife. Cause we travel, you play pro ball. You’re gone all the time and uh, overseas, that kind of thing. And uh, this is the craziest thing, but you would’ve thought it was his great. You would think this is what you do. Cause he makes green doing it. Andy perceived you, you see him bike, you know, you see them making big dunks and you see them scoring. You think he loves it, but it’s all show and walking away from the show was where he really found his thing.

And I just, that was one. And then another one was a buddy of mine who always wanted to be a pro musician, you know, and make big bucks, top 40 guy and a, a work of, as part of a top 40 organization. And that’s what he did. He got a job on the traveling top 40 music circus, essentially traveling around big stadiums, traveling all around the world. And we did a call. I talked to him and I’m like, he enjoyed it. No. What helicopters? Private jets going out to dinner, pretty girls. The whole thing. I’m not into it. What I want to do is just like lead praise and worship at a local church and get a job. And I’m like, are you kidding me? He’s like, no, seriously. I like basketball. I love playing basketball, like with a church league. And I haven’t done that in like five years and I’m almost 40 now I gotta get outta here. And so I, I just, these kinds of conversations I’d want to ask you. And then I know West has got more questions for you. Do you see a lot of guys who forever because they’re good at something they’ve misconstrued something that actually sucks the soul out of them as a green, just because they’re good at it. Quote, unquote, have you seen this all the time? All the time,

all the time. And one of the things that we hear a lot, if the guys have gone through this process is I’m finally free to be who I am finally free to be who I am. And it’s so rewarding to see that. And these are guys who are high achievers. The, what happens is the longer they spend time doing those yellows and reds, uh, then they find themselves in their late thirties, early forties and they know they’ve got to make a change, but they don’t know what to do. Yeah. And now they’ve got an income level, a lifestyle that they feel like gotta support they’re trapped. And you know what happens to an animal when they’re trapped? They don’t, they don’t behave well. Uh, and uh, this is what happens to men and they, they don’t, they don’t have any hope. They feel like. And none of the thinking about how do I keep doing this and putting my kids through college, you know, retire, uh, that they really feel like, Oh my goodness, I’m, I’m, I’m going to be stuck here.

I talked to a lady I’m to get the show is going to come out in June. So we won’t, she won’t know who I’m talking to. I talked to a lady today who, um, her and her husband have a business and, uh, it’s done well financially, but they’ve got West. I’m sure you’ve seen this. They’ve got a schedule where it’s like every night there is a kid event and the conversation today was their kids. Don’t like the events. They don’t like going to the events and they’re expensive. And they both work full time to support the industrial complex of private school, private sports. And so the conversation was will clay with you and Vanessa, what’s your take on that? And I was like, well, I can’t speak. I’m not a life coach. I just teach business stuff. But I can say we sent our kids to Metro. That’s where they do. One of our kids goes to st. Augustan, but we sent him to private school, but before we used to homeschool, but, uh, I got three that are really into sports right now. And two that aren’t, and I don’t know, I’ve never felt this pressure to be over-scheduled, but I, I hear a lot of people that are like that. And just even bringing up the idea was that they don’t have to be an, every sport to be a good parent. You know, what seemed almost jarring.

Yeah. And maybe I can relate this a little bit to my myself personally. Um, you know, we were talking about green, yellow is red. So, um, I’m an attorney obviously. Uh, but one of the reasons I got into proxy law was I enjoy solving problems, being a peacemaker finding solutions. And so when I have to go into a fight, I’m a good fighter. I’m good at fighting. I don’t know, but I hate doing it. So when I wake up that morning, I know I’ve been for a fight. You know, I got to go to court and fight. I’m gonna fight in deposition. I’m in a bad mood, you know, and if I’m doing a couple of days in a row, I’m short with my kids, my wife tells me, quit talking to me like I’m on the stand and you’re cross examining me. Um, and so put down the weapon. Right. So I, I mean, I can understand just cause you’re good at it. Um, doesn’t mean that’s something that you have to keep doing. Um, so I mean, that’s really relatable. One of the things I’m curious about here is there some nuance between what your drivers are and what makes you happy? Cause a lot of times we hear find what makes you happy and go do it. But it sounds like you have a little more, uh, meat on the bone. So to speak. When you’re talking about the drivers

and the green, yellow reds, is there a correlation there or can you talk about that a little bit? Yeah. I think the reason we, we actually hit the drivers first as we take a guy through our process is because I believe that if they don’t figure that out, they’re going to run out of gas. Um, and, and even if they have a, a mission in mind or they have some other interests, they’re not going to be able to do those things with, uh, with, with a great attitude and in a healthy way. So we do that. But then, then once you figure out your drivers, then the rest of your design speaks to where you use those drivers, how, who do you want to help do? What, you know, what are some areas of interest that you’d love to employ in helping other people? And what is your personality like?

How does that all fit in? So what’s so amazing about this is that we’re, we’re uniquely made and it’s, we’re not just a, a one dimensional person. We have all these different aspects of who we are. And I love helping guys understand you’re more than just your abilities. So what are, but let’s, let’s make sure you get that right and start working on it. And, um, it just been, so one of, I got a guy right now that, uh, he was living in his reds. He’s, he’s what I’d call it a triple a, not a type a, but a AAA highly I’m tightly wound. He was dying when I was, when I first started meeting him. And he, when he, when he started realize that there’s reds greens and yellows, he realized that he was living in his reds and yellows. He’s gotten intentional about weeding those things out now over time as he can.

And it’s just changed his life just in like six months. Uh, and he actually wants to start talking about this two groups of people. So, um, does that answer your question? It does. It’s I, you know, I guess that was part of the question. Was, are your greens, what make you happy or are doing your greens? What makes you happy? You know, what, a green in the egg thing, what’s, what’s a green, how would you define a green? Okay. A greens for me, like I love to advise guide, mentor, coach, relationship, build, and connect people to each other. Now w when I was actually in charge of a building, a department of a supply chain, it was a first time in my life, in my forties when I realized I wasn’t using those things primarily. And I actually made a decision about 45 to get serious about using the things that really energized my heart in, in, in leading this organization, we ended up being the most effective, uh, time of my life career wise. I’m as far as far as corporate life and even the, the chairman of the co corporation, uh, sent me an email saying you’ve accomplished more productive change in this company, anybody including me, because I started to shift toward using who I was, rather than all the other things I had learned to do.

And am I still did some of those, but I did more and more of these things that were my drivers. So you,

no, you’re fine. I was gonna say, what I like about your approach is that you said we’re all uniquely made, right? So for instance, Clay’s example, the people who are tired of going to games and practices, that’s different for everyone. For me, this is my favorite part of the week. I can turn off, I can shut up my song

and getting the same activity. It doesn’t mean it’s unethical to like going to your kid’s things or to not,

it’s not a good or bad, but we’re all individuals that you take into account. You know what your particular driver,

I think a lot of people are not comfortable with the idea that you and I could be a sane people and entirely disagree on what we like to do and still be okay with being buddies. I think a lot of people feel like we have to, as a culture, all agree. Here we go. We’re all going to agree that all of us need to have two kids. We all need to aspire to send them to private school. We got to over-schedule. All of them are unders. I mean, we’ve all I think as a culture, we feel do you see that today? Where people feel like everybody needs to send their kids to college and everybody’s got to go to Disney world, every blue tuck, we’re all going the same. Well, they aren’t leading themselves. They’re just reacting to the demands, the inferred demands of their culture.

And, um, and guess what, when they’re doing that, they’re teaching their kids not to lead themselves. I talked to a guy the other day that was, I’m old enough to say the other day when, I mean, a year ago, I talked to a guy a while back at a conference who was telling me that he goes, you sound like Jim Gaffigan. And I go, wow. Okay, thank you. But the people mentioned that a lot, he’s a comedian guy does different voices. And so I said, well, thank he goes, but there’s, there’s a routine he does about taking his kids to Disney world and have you heard it? And I said, yeah. And he goes, cause basically Dave, this is Jim. Gaffigan’s take on Disney world. He’s a comedian. He has a bunch of kids that he has six kids. His kids a take was, he went to Disney world.

He saved all of his money to go to the surface of the sun where he waited in line and sweated while waiting for overpriced food and then leaving without money and upset. Yeah. And I was listening to it going that’s right. That’s how I feel. I can’t stand as a kid. I didn’t like it, but yet other people I know loved it. And so this guy at the conference comes up to me and he’s like, did you like going to Disney world? I’m like, no, I did not. He was finally somebody who shares their dislike for Disney world with me. And it’s interesting how, again, I’m not saying going to Disney world is bad or good, but I liked that you sit down with people and help them figure out their red lights, the green lights, yellow lights. Now somebody out there says I am married and things are not going well. I love her. I’m committed. Things are not going well. I understand you have workshops for couples. Yes. What does that look like as a, is it woo? Was it like watching couples retreat? Is it weird? What is it like? Well, we actually coach couples love coaching

couples, my wife and I do, uh, we’ve had couples retreats. Um, I love, I love, uh, the way we do couples retreats is we find someone who’s willing to invite some of their friends who are ready for this. If they’re willing to invite some of their peers, their close and friends, um, will come and facilitate it. We’ll give them some structure and so forth. But it’s usually a small retreat and she has a couple of days usually. Yeah. Usually two days. And usually it’s about a four to six couples. How many hours of training? What kind of interaction is there? Is there? Oh man, there’s probably about, Oh, maybe eight hours of interaction. And what’s really great is as they’re interacting with each other and what they’re learning about, their design, their drivers. And then also we had them look at what are your, what’s your passions.

I am entirely uncomfortable with this conversation, but I continue to press it. I have a friends of mine who swear by these couple retreats and I have, uh, I, I don’t know. I don’t know. And, but they, they, they swear. They say, clay, you should go. And I go, I don’t know about this. They say, you should go. It’s the best. And so I just, I think somebody wants to know, what are we doing at these retreats? What are you, what are you doing? It’s really for couples who are fairly healthy, but we aren’t trying to fix marriages. Okay. Yeah. So,

so what was their appeal to being a better, um, uh, sounding board for your spouse? Okay. Well, you know, all of us have a hard time saying no, usually to the right, to the right things and saying yes to the right things. And oftentimes we, as, as, as couples can be great sounding boards for each other, if we better understand why really how each other are wired, we kinda think we know that oftentimes we don’t have the language to kind of say, Hey, is that really a best use of, of your, who you are? I’m going that going on that board or getting involved with that business.

Oh, you hit something, you hit that. You just said this, this is, this is clay stairs. Do you know who clay stairs is? Oh yeah. I love clay stairs, clay stairs. He, uh, we were driving together, talk to the new land to see construction of a new place. And, uh, uh, stairs will be moving in with us. And it looks like living water. Uh, uh, Josh will come visit us there once a week. And then we’ve got, uh, Randy with PMH, OKC, I think wants to build a big outdoor staycation out there for, to display his stuff. It’s really a fun place and stairs. And I were driving and he says, Hey, Shepard’s fold. Wanted me to ask if you wanted to serve on a board and without asking you, I said, no, but I feel like I should at least clarify that. I said, no, are you cool with that?

And I go, Oh yeah. Now I can say this having come out on the other side of, I said I was a, um, a West. I know you’ve got some accolades with your career, but when you have an award or something’s happened, you get asked to volunteer and junior achievement said, mr. Clark, could you volunteer to speak to the students of broken arrow high school? One hour, I go in there and I delivered the best hour I could possibly deliver. Oh, I prepared. And I probably gave a C minus performance cause I was 21 years old. And I had won the entrepreneur of the year award. And I was highly motivated, highly caffeinated, really no destination. I was taking them to just fired up and the kids left. Could they cheer? And he’s like, he’s only three years older than us come back. But I was pretty bad.

I have. And so ms. Farkhor called me and said it was the kids loved you. Maybe if you had more direction, but we liked, can you come back next week? Next week, then the teacher across the hall, mrs. Hill was her name. She said, could you speak to my class? That’s two hours on. And then three and pretty soon one of the people higher up. So we hear there’s kids who are wanting to come to this entrepreneurial class. Cause you come once a week. Could you do it all day? So without asking my wife, I, cause I’m a classy man.

I said, yes, I agree. Move.

So now I’m there at the high school for years, Wes. Literally, if you asked Vanessa, I think it was like six hours a day, a week, every week on one day, a week for maybe more than I want to. I want to push the number of years down in my mind, but I think it’s higher, but it might’ve been like six or seven years. Wow. And then Vanessa said to me one time, Hey, after you spend those seven hours a day, mentoring other people’s kids, why don’t you find an hour, a day to mentor our own kids? And I thought

[inaudible],

you’re just using facts. Now these are just harsh words. So I had to dial back my game, but I was also the head of the bridal association. I served on like some iTechs committee of some kind, some networking group. I don’t know what I was. The wedding association, the American DJ association West. Have you ever felt pulled to volunteer for a lot of stuff and you feel like you’re winning the game only to come home and recognize that you have forgotten your wife’s name?

Well, they may not mind her name. Um, I forget a lot of stuff, but yeah. I mean it’s, especially with charity work. I mean, as much as it feels good to give back charity work by nature sucks you in deeper and deeper and deeper. Um, because they’re so thirsty for helping a lot of areas that deeper, you know, a board seats then turns into a committee chair then turns into, Oh, this other charity needs help too. And then it comes back. I think something you mentioned earlier, which is knowing when to say no, you know, realizing what to say yes to what to say no to them.

Pretty soon you’re picking up like vegetable trays every night of the week, dropping them off. What am I doing? You’re picking up. I mean, in the kids’ games too, you could be like the dad, the sponsor dad who brings the beverages to all the games and we can get polled. We can get pulled.

Yeah. And so if you don’t know when to say, no, you find it becoming less rewarding and more of a burden, which is not how you should feel about, I think doing charity work. I mean, yeah. Getting out, say maybe you could turn maybe, maybe from a green

to a yellow or red, even though it’s the same activity because you’ve gone outside the scope of what you want to do. Well, I coach people all over the world who are involved in missions. Yeah. And what I’ve learned is the mission doesn’t care. You, it can be a great mission, but you were designed to operate a certain way within that mission. And if you want to doing that, you’ll burn out. And, uh, I’ve had a lot of those people on my doorstep involve with a great mission. Yup. But they get sucked into, uh, getting away from their design. And once they figured that out that they weren’t a dirt ball because they’re burned out, but they just made some mistakes and how to use who they were.

I have a, a few, few, few final questions. I know Andrew has questions too. Andrew is like young whippersnappers, 21 years old. He’s I’ve been on our payroll for three years and he now has a house. He has a rental house. He and his wife are happily married, no kids yet. Um, and he works with a lot of clients that are twice as age and he sees, I’m sure I’ve never talked to him about this, but I’m sure he’s seen some of his clients. Over-scheduled overbooked red lights, yellow lights everywhere. So I’d like to get his, his questions for you as well. Um, but I want to ask you the road questions that probably I shouldn’t ask, but here we go. Do you charge for this? I don’t. You don’t

now some of our coaches, do we have a, we have a group of, well, we have several coaches,

reorganization solvent. How do you, cause I hear so many people would say, I went to your course, how does that work?

Well, a bunch of businessmen and friends of mine back in 80 and 2004 saw what was going on with what I was doing. And they said, we believe in this and they actually challenged me. They said, we think you had a good do this full time, not your consulting gig. You’ve been doing on this as a way of making loving, but a do this full time. And we don’t think you need a charge for it really. So that, that was going to make for an interesting conversation at home. And it took about a month to, uh, work through all that and internally to my, for myself. And when I finally decided to step into this, what I found out that they wanted to fund it really. Yeah. And, uh, but they kind of let me hang for,

yeah. Make sure you’re committed. Now the guys, and I know some of these guys who talked about no, no one’s told me how much they funded or why they funded. It was more of like, it was more of, we believe in this it’s free. It’s been paid for. And I’m going by who, what kind of a nut job pays for another man’s personal development that he might never meet who and they go, you just, you gotta, you gotta check it out. You got you. And so I keep hearing that. And so that was sort of the vibe I needed to hear that. Cause I couldn’t figure, I thought, is this a cult that has like a 50 year play? You know what I mean? A lot of times these scams, you know, they, they usually get, they, they end up Westlake in two or three years, but like maybe this is a 40 year scam and it just, the shoe hasn’t dropped yet. But then I heard these guys who actually had gone through the program, took their money and put it

into it, then it sort of validated. Okay. Okay. This makes total sense. I was a little bit worried there for a while. Yeah. It sounds like people that have benefit from the program want to pass that on to other people. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Can I get an endowment? That’s pretty good endorsement of the program right in and of itself right there. Well, it was really special said that they never had any strings attached to it. Yeah. You know, oftentimes when people, when people donate big P big chunks of money, they want strings true. That I’ve never had any strings for 15 years. We’ve been fully funded. Wow. Okay. And I’m the worst fundraiser in the world. Okay. Um, but I ended up what I think what has really helped is I’ve really tried to never use people, never use relationships, never kind of, uh, shinny up to somebody pretending I’m their friend, but it just really wanting something from them.

And I think that’s made a big difference. I hear that people in big positions of political power reach out to you for help. And you always hear a little whispers. They’re like, Oh, this guy he’s working with Dave Jewitt, you know what I’m going? It seems like every, I mean, you’re working with a lot of people just to give some, I’m not asking for names because I know how you want to keep that private. But you work with business owners, you work with political leaders. Am I correct? To me, business owners, political leaders, people who are high up in the game of life, people that are just starting out all over the, all over the, the field. Am I correct? Yes. And so if somebody wants to sign up for your program or learn more, where do they go go on our website and say, we’re interested in being coached. So we go to make sure I got the website. You’re a one degree.com. Your one degree.com West people have told me, uh, mainly Andrew, Andrew has told me not out loud, just more of a verbal cue or it’s more of a mint. I picked up on ESL. He’s told me that if I hit this button and I say a website

seven times, people never forget it with a megaphone. So we’ll try it here. Check out your one degree. That’s your one degree.com check out. Is this enough for you? Andrew, check out you’re on one degree and you made this happen. Your one degree.com you aren’t wanting to read.com your whatever, your.com. And then I realized, Andrew never said this to me at all. This is just me. It’s just me. But it worked. Did it. Andrew did work.

Yeah. Do we burn? Did we create a neural pathway? Is somebody have to in their mind. Okay. That’s perfect. So Andrew, you work with clients, many clients who are coming into new money. Yeah. They’ve ever had success financially. They don’t come to us for life coach and they come to us to help them grow a business. They do it, I think last year, our average client grew by 104% was their growth rate in terms of revenue. Where do you see clients? Kind of maybe needing a little Dave Jewitt. Yeah. So, um, one thing I do see a lot is that when you, when we’re, when we’re helping clients, they’re like Lee said, they’re finding new money, new revenue, new, new income coming in that also a lot of times comes with a lot of time freedom. And so I see a lot of times, uh, somebody will, uh, you know, choose one thing and then hop to the next thing and then hop

to the next thing and then hop to the next thing and then keep going and keep going. So I’m curious if you ever see that as like a good thing or is that more of them just looking for their green lights or are they just hopping from red light to red light? And then with somebody like that, who is hopping around very often, whether it’s like a new hobby or a new, just a new thing, a new business idea, new thing. Is this ever a good thing? Or like, what is the next step? What should they be focusing on? Should they be picking one thing, should they continue to hop around until they land on their green lights? Or what, how, how, what, what practical things should somebody be doing if they find themselves in that hopping stage where they’re just looking for something new all the time? Well, I actually like,

especially in your twenties is try a lot of things, get out there and try things. That’s um, that’s how you learn, but what often does, but I don’t see is they aren’t taking time to reflect on what they’ve been learning. Hmm. They, they kind of keep repeating cycles. They kind of keep eating. They even keep doing some green yellows and reds just to kind of keep busy, but they haven’t learned criteria for making decisions, you know, but those early twenties, I mean, those twenties are really a great time. You got the energy, you’ve got the drive, you’ve got a passion, uh, get out there and do stuff. You know, I oftentimes say you don’t be as dumb about this in six months as you are today. Okay. The only way you’re going to get smarter as you try stuff,

I would say kind of a pro tip. I’d give the listeners. If you’re watching the video version, look at it this way. Let’s say that this block of wood right here represents things that are good. This is taking you closer to the end. This is traction. You’re getting closer to your goals going this way. This way would be the distraction. Okay, good. This is we’re going to go. This way is the traction. This way is the distraction traction. Just so you get out a sheet of paper, you write down traction, all right? And you put an arrow going to the right and you put a distraction and you’re going to the left. And every morning you write down your goals for your faith, your family, your finances, your fitness, your friendship, your phone. We talk about the F six faith, family, finance, fitness, friendship, pun.

And then this is what’s going to happen. Then this just happened today, West, this is real stuff. Okay. Somebody who I do not want to be my literary agent who represents people that I disdain has reached out to me to represent me on a project. Okay. I’m not going to do it. Cause it takes me away from my libertarian Judeo Christian worldview. I know the kind of books they write. It’s not going to happen for me, you know, but I could, but it would be a distraction. Another example, a young lady we interviewed about three weeks ago, it’s a group interview. She says, Mr. Clark, Andrew, you see the group interview. We interview a lot of candidates every week. Can you see a few of them who have the game? There’s a few women who have played a game, not a lot, but a few. And she says, could you follow me out to my car real quick?

I had a few other questions about the job. This is after like, everyone’s kind of leaving Andrew. You know what I’m talking about? We all try to leave at the same time. And I know the Billy Graham rule. Another example, people email me all the time today, probably a hundred times, usually 50, a hundred times a day asking me, can we meet you? Can I call, could you call me? Could you call? And I just, I have this sweet feature I use. It’s the delete feature. It’s so sweet. And I just delete and I don’t feel bad cause they’re not paying me. They’re not my friend and they’re not paying me. So I just hit delete because I know if I hit respond, then they’re going to send another email like, well, uh, in another example, a speaking event, I got asked to speak this week in September in the great state of California at this event.

And I said no today. Why? Because it’s not on my list. And so it’s like what you say, no allows you to grow, but you got to think, am I getting closer to my traction or my distraction? You know? So tonight the kids are at cheerleading until nine o’clock tonight. So I’ll be editing some podcasts and that tip that’s traction. But if I were to edit podcasts last night, when the kids were at home, that would be distraction because that’s when my scheduled time with my kids. So tonight I’m going to turn on my remote. This is my woodblock remote whoop. I’m gonna turn on the hot tub. Cause I know my wife’s coming home at nine and I’m going to attempt to hit on her at nine o’clock at night. And so, but the thing is I gotta get the hot tub going on seven.

That’s a district that’s traction. You’re hitting the button, but it would be distraction to hit the hot tub when my kids are home. Uh, when they’re, you know, expecting dead time, you know, last night watching wizard of odds. My wife knows when she accused on, it turns on old movies, like the Moses movie with Charlton Heston or a wizard of Oz that’s code for me to sleep. So he hits the button and I’ve also because I don’t like it, but we have that relationship where that would be a distraction for me to stay up late night, watching wizard of Oz for the 47th time. Especially when you get up at three 30. But you know what though, is that in some families watching wizard of Oz is traction. That’s getting closer as a family, some people for me, it’s just not a good thing. So you gotta figure it out with your spouse right now.

Your goal is right for your faith and your family and your finances. I mean, do you see a lot of people thinking they’re gaining traction day, but they’re actually becoming a it’s X. They’re actually pursuing a distraction. Absolutely. They’re they’re there. They’re not again, leading themselves. They’re not even paying attention to who they are. They’re just, they’re kind of trying to do whatever other people are doing and versus what they should be doing. And it’s just a, uh, just a trap. I appreciate you for joining us in our trap here. I have trapped you. I brought you in the man cave. I appreciate this because seriously, so many people have told me, you gotta have, uh, Dave Jewitt on the show and I’ve been hearing this for a long time and I appreciate all the work you’ve been doing, helping real people, um, unlock their potential.

I think it’s awesome. Uh, helping people figuring out their scent, their sense of purpose. And I keep hearing from people that have run billion-dollar companies, multimillion-dollar companies, people who have been the political leaders of, of, of States and governments telling me good things about you. So again, thank you for making the poor, uh, life choice to be here on the show today. I really enjoyed it. Awesome. Well, without any further ado, we’d like to end each and every show with a boom. So here we go. Oh, Steve. Kerrington’s in the room. Wow. And the Domino’s King is in the room as well. Here we go. Three, two, one.