Use Social Media to Show Your Ads and Not Your… – A Knowledge Bomb

Audio Transcription

Are you using social media as a tool or a social media turning you into a tool? Are you using facebook to show your ads or are you using facebook to show your

grabbed the duck tape and mentally prepare yourself for yet another mind expanding knowledge bomb from America’s number one business coach, Clay Clark.

All right, thrive nation. Welcome back to another knowledge bomb edition of the thrive time show on your radio and podcasts, download and Marshall. Today’s show. It’s coming in hot because we’re going to deal with the problem on today’s show that I know none of our thrivers deal with, none of them. The other piece, and I know that you don’t have a problem with this. That’s right, and I’m sure you’ve never had a problem with this other and I know that Steve has never had a problem with this note and I know that that a clay stairs has, so this show Mr, or mrs listener is not for you. It’s for someone you know, without one of us. Yeah, because we all know nobody listened to this show you the people. Listen to this show. We are. You are. Classy, you are the finest. None of this is for other people.

Okay, but today’s show on today’s show, we’re talking about how you want to use tools but not become a tool, right? You want to use tools but you don’t want to become a tool, right? Right. So let’s give an example here. Marshall, you should go on facebook to show your ads, ads, ads, ads, ads, but most people misunderstand the idea and they say, I’m going to go on facebook to show my. Hey, hey, no, well, I mean I can’t say that word on the show, but again, you shouldn’t be going on facebook to show your ads, Marshall, but something Marshall, most people are going on facebook to show their one. Come on. Marshall Canada to family shot. Okay, so this is the question I want to ask you. Okay. I mean, this sincerely, you’ve done some research on this. How much time does the average American spin on social media on, on a typical day?

Okay, so typical day entrepreneur.com says that it breaks down to nearly two hours a day, a 100 in 16 minutes. And according to Nielsen, the average American is spending five point three hours a day, but five point three hours a day watching TV. Or is it five point two? I’ll pull it up, pull it up. The average American right now, clay stairs. You’re a coach. You work with clients. The number one reason people say they can’t get something done is always what? I did not have time now steep. Currently you’re in the mortgage industry. Yup. And you I’m sure have never met any realtor or any other mortgage officer lending officer who’s ever said to you, the reason why I couldn’t get something done was because I didn’t have time. Do you ever heard that excuse? Oh Man. Every day. So what if this one show could come?

What if. What if? Today’s show, what if we said, let’s. This will be our final show because this show will change your life. And then Bam, that show would have to be about this, which is stop watching TV and stop using social media. And there you have seven hours back a day. Which one could use to grow a business sleep. Even if go on a date to just get an extra seven agent, copious amounts of marital horizontal activity. That’s true. You can produce a baby. You could say it is a family show one. So because I have had a vasectomy, it requires more work to produce a baby. So I put in the time to put them in time because I’m not watching TV. I’m not on your to do list. A kind of.

She doesn’t know, but it’s on the list. Right, right, right. It’s, it’s a daily duty to police the booty. I’m going to put that on the lyrical. I’ve said that for years. Daily duty sometimes. Sometimes you go, I don’t know. You got to keep the streak alive folks. Now Marshall Tomorrow. So good for me to follow that. So again, you want to use social media to show your ads and how do you, how are you saying that with, with, with a d ad, but you don’t want to use social media to show what Marshall, you don’t want to show you to stop saying on the show. Okay? So let’s. Okay, so marshy that guy. It’s kind of a big deal. Okay, now here’s the deal, Marshall. So how can we, if we refuse to embrace this idea, let’s just say I don’t like today’s show. I’m going to use social media because I think it’s helping my brand. What’s. What’s what’s take? The Satan does not need an advocate. Blushes. Say today we advocate saying we’re helping Satan with this argument. Okay, so if I am saying you don’t understand, I get most of my leads from facebook. Let’s just say that that’s true. You’re an outlier. Let’s just what’s. Have you ever met

a client so far, Marshall, that you’ve worked with and if you have, how many of you met that actually generate real business? Not from their ads, but from their interaction on facebook?

None. Never know. Now Monday

I did my annual linkedin updating. I had Amanda help me. And you. How did you say? Did you say annual? Yes. Do you want me do it? I’m surprised you do an annual hips pull up my account. I have my password saved. That’s right. And I said, Amanda, who’s worked with us for six months? I said, Amanda, I need you to go in there and say yes to every single person that knows five people I know. And she’s like, aren’t you gonna respond to the messages? No, no. What? Because, because, you know what I mean? It’s, that’s, that’s the thought people have known. It was daisy that asked me, daisy asked me last year if I was gonna respond to the messages and this year Amanda just wanted to know what the rules were for saying yes. Then you know, what I did on facebook this week, my one, my one facebook activity educate me.

We had a competitor, I’m posed as a former, as a soon to be employee in apply for a job force. Okay. And uh, and then he, so I, I was, it was, you know, kind of a, it’s a sneaky military. I mean it’s, it’s a sneaky move. Yeah. So Id friended everyone who knows him because I’m not gonna go on facebook to show my. Whoa, you know what I’m saying though, but this guy through the facebook is allowed because he kind of knows me on facebook as opposed to acquaintance. He’s able to like go in and look what I’m doing and sort of play the game and so again, but what if I would’ve gone on facebook and wrote a comment about the guy who is a competitor for our haircut business and wrote on facebook like, you’re not very nice. What would have happened?

It would have just snowballed out of control and just created all kinds of just chaos. You would’ve spent six hours responding to the people. We had one guy who claims to be my very dear friend, I’ve known for a long time. He came into our downtown store to get his haircut and I found out that he’s an owner of. He’s an investor and our competitor, so he came in, got his haircut, complained and went on facebook and wrote horrible reviews and I know who it is and I’ve known the guy. Oh Wow. So how did I. But he, I, I’m not kidding. I’ve seen the guy in the last three weeks. He actually is my friend, but he went into facebook under a pseudo name and window for the room under a fake name, a complaint about his haircut and wrote a bad review and he’s the guy who calls me friends and sees me at church.

So Marshall on facebook. Should I go up there and respond to the bad review with an with a spinning hours of writing the perfect narrative. How should I handle it? Well, I bet you wanted to for half a second and then you’re like, no, I probably could do absolutely anything else to better, better solve. So homes in my heart, I choose one of five prewritten messages to right. I appreciate you and your concerns. Call this number. We’d love to work it out with you and that’s it. Every single time, every single time. I do this with all interactions with anybody on social media every time, but I posted the happy birthday to him when you were and he said, he said, thank you. Call this number if you have any clubs. There you go. So now. So now I want you guys to provide some narrative into this situation.

This is a huge problem. Again, people say their number one reason they can’t get stuff done and they don’t have what? Marshall a don’t have time. Right? And the biggest usage of people’s time today is TV. Yup. At Five, five hours and four minutes. And smartphone, smartphone, 116. One could think that the smartphone is the smaller problem, but that’s not true because according to psychology today, the average person is now interrupted by their phone over 85 times a day, which means they can no longer sustain. A thought in the research shows that when someone attacks you verbally online or says something about you that you don’t agree with or tries to compare with you or create jealousy or envy, what happens to that person? Mentally clay stares. When they look at their phone, they see the notification and they see a very bad thing written about them on facebook or an opposing political review or opposing political view or a racist view.

What tends to happen? Well, they go emotional. The amygdala, the Amygdala fires, and they go to about a third grade brain, if I’m not mistaken. So what? So let’s just do another example. They act like me. There’s a guy who used to work for me years ago who went on off facebook in the last. This is about six months ago and wrote, I cannot believe I did not get the job because I’m a Christian. I guess the owner of the business. Let them know we don’t appreciate your values, are not hiring you because he’s a Christian. Now this guy, I know this guy very well now let me ask you this. He applied to go work at a bar in town that’s owned by a man who’s homosexual. Do you guys believe that the homosexual man has to hire the Christian men? Does it have to? I mean, I don’t care if the law says.

I’m just saying to a man. Do you think he should hire him? No. If you’re an openly, if you’re openly a proud homosexual and you don’t agree with the person, know who you’re hiring to have to hire him. No, you don’t have to run. So this is what the guy I’ve known for forever, when somebody did, he went on facebook and wrote the name of the guy and said this person will not hire me because of my orientation and for being a Christian, it’s an abomination and I know this because I ran into him and he’s like, well how would you handle this? So to be a friend of the guy, I go into the facebook and I look for. I’m just to kind of see this thing is now like 100 shares. It’s become an epidemic and issue. People are taking sides. You got lesbians on there going, why didn’t get hired?

Because I’m a lesbian at this one business. And then someone else said, well I was discriminated here and then someone else writes, I am an atheist. I never get jobs. And they go on and on and on. And you know what the cool thing about that whole dialogue there? Stevens, what’s that? I had no idea that kind of bs. What’s happening is I’m never on facebook. Right? So Marshall, I would like for you to preach the good news. I would like for you to share how bad of a problem do you think social media is for the average human. It’s a. it’s a huge problem because of exactly what you said is it doesn’t mean that like if you’re on social media scrolling through, it’s just the notifications they pop up on your phone and so if you got your phone sitting next to you’re here next to your keyboard there where if you got your phone in your lap or it’s buzzing, is that distracting? Those a little distressed. That’s what knows. Listen, did that piss you off just a little bit? Kind of just talking and then it’s like

I

piss you off. I was talking here, clay, this is what people here though on social media all the time about their life because they’re comparing their own body. How they look. There’s some woman out there needs to write this down. You are taking a photo with your family and before you upload it, Steve, what do they do? What do most women do? Edit. Edit, and they do what? Add a filter to it. Add a filter that makes them look less like skinnier, clear skin, less wrinkles, like darker skin. Maybe they tan, maybe knowing they do and what happens is then they feel like, oh my gosh, I am. I am not a good. I don’t live up. I should look better at the age of 40. I should look younger because look how. Look how cool. Look how young they look, but when you see them in person, they look very different.

They look on facebook because they’ve allowed. Facebook has allowed you to go through the vomit of your life and pick out kernels of corn. Oh, nice. Yeah. You go through and you’re like, oh, here’s a colonel. So Marshall Again, why are the distractions such a bad thing? It’s such a bad thing is because you can’t prepare for when the notifications are kind of like that. Yeah, I couldn’t. I’m not gonna hit the button for a while. Continue. Okay, and so when you are, you’re making sales calls, you’re training your team, you’re doing absolutely anything within your business. You can’t be prepared for when those are going to happen and when they do it completely derails the entire situation and then. And then you have to refocus yourself. It takes, it takes like 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour to get back into that neuropathway that’s right. So if you’re doing warmups for basketball, you play basketball.

That’s right. When you’re warming up, why do you warm up before? Just playing warm up before just playing because he got to get the body loose. Can I get into the right mindset and how long does it take? What would you do to get the right mindset? Before the game? I had a long runway to get ready. I would get to the kids. I would get to the gym three hours before game time. Tell me about the same socks. Oh, same, same, same undershirt, save playlists, same sequence of the playlist. Every single, every great player of anything does the same thing. I have a routine. Oh yeah, but you can’t, but you a lot of players. I know a lot. I’ve heard a lot of stores have a lot of professional athletes that will not speak to their spouse on a game day. They’ll get to the stadium like six in the morning and they don’t speak because they were playing football.

It’s a very violent game. They want to get in the right mindset before the game and they’re not. A lot of people said like, like guy who was the receiver who is super small, who had the unbelievable stiff arm, who was unbelievably an undersized but. Awesome. I’m panthers, Steve Smith. Okay. Study web. Have you ever seen, if you has ever seen Steve Smith play because they were seen Steve Smith, we might need to pull up some highlights. Uh, Steve Smith played football so violently. He had a stiff arm where he would knock people down and he’s a small guy, but he would knock anybody down and he would just, he is violent on the field and he had a persona, but everyone says that’s not what he’s like as a dad, which by the way is the rest of the year. Yeah. So for me, in any successful entrepreneur, it’s like stepping onto the field.

Yeah, you shouldn’t check your phone on Game Day. I don’t want to call on Game Day, but what happens is somebody marshaller trying to sit down and write a book. Right now. Somebody’s out there listening is trying to write the web stuffs. Someone out there listening right now. You’re trying to add content to your website. You’re trying to write the words needed to be added to your website, right? Yeah. You’re trying to write the material for a brochure. You’re trying to make a pro forma. How long did you work in it performing yesterday? How hers, like maybe, I don’t know, eight hours between uh, uh, the office in a night. So you’re trying to work on a performer and then here comes a social media update. Boop. Yup. With a little Emoji or favorite or some sort of image that moves. And then this is what the headline says. Probably my best tip is tip number eight. Always keep bags of your own poop collected throughout your stay and just have it ready. You share it with somebody and then you realize, holy crap, I just wasted a half hour and then you think to yourself and then you have no money in the bank because you get paid based on results and not intentions, and then you go on facebook and and compare yourself with people who aren’t. Aren’t even real

clay stairs. Yes. If you could speak the good news to your former clients, current clients, to anybody out there who says, but I have to use facebook. I, I really do. It’s how I’m branding myself. Have you ever worked with a client that’s made a lot of money as a result of not their ads but their interactions on facebook? No, I have not. How many facebook friends do you have? Marshall? Dino. I don’t know. Do you have any facebook friends? I have a, I dunno. 5,000. How many can I have? I don’t know how many. You can have. $5,000. 5,000? No Sir. Well you can have like five, five. I don’t know how know the number here. Let me see. I have 2000. Six hundred and 15. Okay. So I guess yesterday I had like 2000 or so popular, 680 because I defended a lot of people yesterday.

That’s right. So, but um, I don’t even know how to defriend. I’ll show it to us. Oh susie. Hey. But no, hold on. Here’s the deal. You can’t just unfriend them. You also have to block them. Yeah. This is what you do. So, so I’m on the, I’m on the friends though here, right? So of all of the people that I’m friends with on facebook, how many of them pay me now? Of course the ones that. So in 2000, 615 people, I mean do I. should I stay in touch? Is it possible to be friends with 2000, 615 people? No, I don’t think it’s possibly friends with 15 people because friendships will require one time and investment. Keep going. Time investment. That does energy, time, energy, all that kind of relates to time in my opinion. Those are all. There’s one more thing, there’s one more.

There’s one more thing to be a friend that we, we need one more thing. One more guess money. Nope. Okay. Shared values. Oh, I cannot be your friend if I don’t share values with you there. It is. Because I can’t be sincere. So as an example, if you are out there listening today and you are antagonistic towards the Christian worldview, like you’re antagonistic, like if you hate the fact that I’m a Christian and you hate Christians, um, we could never be friends. But the thing is like if you’re not a Christian out there listening, I don’t care. So my worldview is I care not what your religious view is. I would just love to solve a problem for you in exchange for money. Yeah. But I’m not gonna sit there and go on facebook and beat you up about your religious views, but the moment that you attack mine, we have problems.

Another example, if you like to have a wife and then a girl on the side, if that’s a pattern you like to have, we probably can’t be friends. Not Good. We definitely can’t be friends because I would hate you as a person. Not just like, it wouldn’t be like, oh, it’s okay then, Oh God, for gifts, but for me I would go, I don’t forgive you and I wouldn’t move on. To me it’s a deal breaker. The conversation’s over to me, if you are, you know, these are, these are concepts, but on facebook we have to have these divisive conversations all day, every day. And then facebook uses you as a tool and you don’t use it as a tool. Facebook as a tool. How has Maurice Marshall, I was faced with a great tool for our clients that use it to show their ads and not there.

Whoa, okay. So how is facebook a good tool? Well, you can actually get your ads or an offer or your product or your service out in front of the very specific audience. You can target where they’re at, you know, what are they interested in, you know, all of these different things as part of their demographics to target the ad. So it is one of the most effective ways to make an offer. Get your name out in front of people. So that’s awesome. But the thing is, is if you’re just constantly sitting there updating your business page all day, all day, going and friending people left and right, none of that is ever created revenue for the businesses I’ve worked with. Do you find social media to be oddly addictive? Marshall? Uh, yeah. I would say that it’s built in such a way that it hooks you, it grabs you.

It was designed to be addictive though. Just make sure we’re getting that. It was designed to be addictive. And Marshall has it not shocked you over the years as we’ve interviewed. Really? I mean the, the number one pastor in America right now by size of church. Craig Rochelle, yeah. We’ve interviewed the top manager, I would argue of art of our lifetimes, elite Cockrell who managed Disney world and 1000 employees as we’ve, as we’ve interviewed Michael Levine, the top pr guy of all time, a seth Godin, one of the top marketing experts of all time. We just interviewed the best management guide that I have a no period outside of Jack Welch on as far as an author, author, the author of the one minute manager. We’re interviewing the WHO’s who of the plant. Is it not amazing to you how as you go up the food chain higher, the amount of time they spend on social media decreases dramatically.

Like the people at the top use social media, at least have. Is this not? It’s not a coincidence. This is not blowing your mind. It is blowing my mind. Have you noticed that the people who are having the least success typically will come into the conversations you might have as friends and family with them. They’re always upset about something that happened on facebook that they can’t control. Have you noticed this to be a thing? I would say they’re just upset with just about anything that they can’t control. I would say without a that is so true. Crazy outro on facebook and you’ll find a lot of that. So many things that you can’t control, but they stir your emotions. So I’m going to go onto facebook right now with you guys as I often don’t and I’m going to see what’s going on because I guess this is what people are doing for two and a half hours a day.

So let’s see what’s going on. Can we do that guys? Is that cool? Sure. And I’ll just use first we won’t use last names. So Brandon during the middle of the day is talking about foot coach football. That’s good. Glad he’s got the financial freedom and time freedom to do that. Um, we’ve got um, an ad about disruptive advertising. We’ve got an somebody updating the in and out burgers coming to Tulsa, which is great. Uh, in the middle of the day it’s being updated, which is good because I’m glad they have the time freedom and financial freedom to do that. Wait, what in and out? Um, we have one lady here who is a posting here, has a facebook memory going on. If I’m wearing a shirt and doing it during the middle of the work day and she’s posting how she wore this shirt.

That’s true years ago and now she’s not wearing that was now to, oddly enough, she’s wearing the same kind of shirt now. And then there’s a guy I see and I’m just pointing out, there’s a guy who commented here right here. I won’t mention his name because it’s too obvious who is perpetually poor and he is a charlatan who runs around pretending to know what he’s doing. This guy is really the worst and he actually is a spy who came to our office one time to try to spine our business plans. But hills high five you at church there is. Um, then we got this person here who is a, a, a good person. I know that used to work with us. Not no longer has a job. Last time I talked to her, can’t seem to find a job. Uh, but there she is on facebook.

Just update updating that status. But that’s good because you got the time freedom and financial freedom to live life subsidized by her mommy and Daddy. Um, and we move on and we just see, oh, we have somebody up here talking about, uh, you know, catwalk catwalks and we’ve got. And what happens is you could go through here we have a commercial that or that commercial. It’s what, what, what do you call the thing where it’s a picture with, with, with the team. We have a meme that got posted and they quoted somebody who didn’t actually say that thing, so they’re quoting someone who didn’t make that statement, but they’re making it look like he did say make that statement and then people are commenting and some people are getting outraged and some people are going to burn their shoes now, and this is just what facebook has, has become, and people spend their whole day on here just drifting around, going, what’s going on?

What’s going on? What am I, what am I missing in this thing called Fomo? Fear of missing out. Fomo. The fear of missing out caused. Don’t always want to look like I don’t want to miss out, so I don’t want to say it. Yeah. And so just want to get your take on this. Daniel Goleman, uh, the, the clinical psychologists, the bestselling author writes a, Hey, by the way, that guy we just had on the thrive time show the best selling author of emotional intelligence. He writes, we need to recreate boundaries. When you carry a digital gadget that creates a virtual link to the office, you need to create a virtual boundary that didn’t exist before clay stairs. What are practical ways you can create a digital boundary like when you’re in a meeting with your clients? I noticed you’re not on social media, right? What kind of digital boundaries have you set up a.

well, first of all, clay, probably one of the biggest things that just in the last probably six, seven months I’ve done is just turn off notifications on your phone entirely. Just turn them off because that’s one of the things that is so distracting when you’re using your smartphone is you’re going to go make a phone call, but at the same time you see all those little red dots saying, Hey, did you know that they’re sweet candy? If you push this button, hey, did you know? Did you know? Now you guys, I’m not asking you to share my worldview, but I want you to share my pain on this. Can you all picture someone in your family who has a very different worldview than you diametrically opposed worldview to you and they are related to you? Just give you a picture that in your mind you got somebody.

You got somebody so clay stairs I’m sure like during a Thanksgiving or Steve, I’m sure a thanksgiving. Your Christmas you, you, you’re, you’re, you’re the kind of guys who would get together with these people on Christmas and Thanksgiving, right? Because you love them unconditionally and you’re gonna. Let them spew their political device of ideas and you’re not going to defend them from life. Right? Right. Am I right? I mean, you’re going to. You’re going to be friends. You’ll do. You do there. They can stay in your family forever. Is that how you roll over there? The Carrington House?

Do they wrote? I’m going. I’m asking you a question. Can you. If somebody brings politically divisive conversations into your Christmas or Thanksgiving and they try to argue about something, do you let them come back next year? What are your rules? No, I don’t care if he related to me or not. I banish you from my life and furthermore, this is we, my, my world, you and I are very similar. I actually is a general rule, dislike everyone in my family with an exception of a couple. So if you are in my family, I specialize in banning you from my life because I don’t like you. Yeah, because I don’t want you to have a hall pass to ruin my life. But on facebook, regardless of how you view your saying you’re such a main person, if you stay friends with them, what do you get to read everyday? They’re divisive. They’re at their rights or assets. So you had to turn off the notifications and you won’t see that. How else have you created digital boundaries? Clay stairs. I, uh, another way that I’ve created digital boundaries is I am not carrying my phone around with me all the time. It goes in a certain spot when I’m in my office. And there you go. You guys hear about, does starbucks recently banning the porn site from the stores,

the porn site? This, I didn’t know there was a problem. Did you know about this at starbucks? Do you guys didn’t know about this Wifi? You can’t look at porn. Okay, let me explain this. That’s interesting. People. I’ll pull it up here real quick. This right here is from. We pulled up this as me from Forbes. So Forbes posted, they have now banned the company, a, an adult, a company. Um, they’ve banned that company’s website from their store. And do you know why they did it? Anybody want to guess why? I’m guessing because so many people were going to it and they were using most and with yet now who is doing the banning? Is starbucks saying that you cannot look at porn while in a starbucks? Well, do you know why they had to ban this though? Do you mean no? Well, I have a friend of mine who owns a fast food restaurant, very successful in the Dallas area and his number one reason why employees were in the bathroom for an hour is the men were looking at porn

in the bathroom. So either bathrooms that you can lock, you know, like a starbucks, you could lock the bathroom. Those become porn viewing stations. And so that’s why your employees are in the bathroom for an hour and so starbucks monitors the traffic of where their wifi traffic is going to and it’s such an issue that they had to come out in ban the company gs. And now the owner of that company came out, the owner of the porn company came out and said that he’s banning starbucks beverages from his business, which is stupid that he’s even relevant. Competent. Show them. Yeah. Right. But all I’m saying is, is that not crazy that employers have now? Now Marshall back in like Art Steve Back in the eighties, if you wanted to get yourself some, a good adult content. The eighties. What’d you do in the eighties? So good. Find a friend who had an ad that had a magazine, but it was like you had to go to a different part of town.

Oh yeah. A shady part of town or a crappy gas station. I’d have that. One friend had to carry the map. I remember. I remember that guy. I got an a school bus when I was in high school. He’s the first guy that we knew who had stuff. Yeah, and that guy was like a really sleazy gross guy. His family was sleazy and gross. Now though you can come across as like a clean cut guy. Go into that starbucks. Boom. So I’m saying to you, Mr. Listener, Mrs Listener, I’m not here to judge you. I’m just saying, is your smartphone making you smart or is it making you dumb? That would be my question I would ask right now. Is Your smartphone making you smart or dumb? So let’s do an example. Marshall. Think about something that you have a huge problem, a huge temptation problem with.

Think about something. Okay. I will, I will. This will be mine. If I ever start to read a book, I don’t want to stop until I’m done. It gets a thing. So like I never want to start a book thinking to no but seriously and I want to like block out everybody and everything until I finish it. Like it’s like tunnel vision. So I try not to, you know, does it make sense to you? Like I will just disappear from my family for hours and read, so I have to like banned myself from reading at certain times. I just want to do on somebody out there. You might go like ice cream. I just. Every time I have ice cream, I just freaking anybody here, just love ice cream. I love ice cream. We have ice cream in your house. You don’t eat it. Every time that my wife buys ice cream, I immediately throw it away, just seeing as little tip, but I.

If I see it, I want to eat it. I’m like, Oh, I wonder if ice cream. But the idea of getting rid of the temptation of just not having the desert in your house. That’s what kills. That’s what stops it. So if you are having an addiction right now, and by the way a large percentage of Americans do to social media and to adult content, get rid of the phone. You don’t have the notifications on Marshall. How has not having notifications on, for you changed your life? Oh, it’s been awesome. It’s actually killed all habit. I didn’t realize how much of a habit there was until I turned my phone on, do not disturb and I did it at first just during the work day and then I just left it on all day. I was like, this is awesome, and pretty soon I had no longer had a habit, but when I first started doing it I was like, I kept checking my phone and he goes, is that my phone?

Was it, is it, is it my phone? Is My phantom pain? I don’t want anymore, but I used to. Was the last time that you got sincerely irritated as a result of a social media post? Like when was the last time where you went, man, like it altered your. See how you felt you were feeling good, right? But you’re at the grocery store or you’re on a date to. You’re on a vacation, you’re on a trip, you’re at work something and you saw a post that was so divisive, so crazy, so mean. So whatever that you’re like, oh my gosh. And it just kinda made you think about it for maybe the rest of the day. What was the last time Marshall? Something like that happened. I’m asking them. I’m asking for the specific person. Just vagaries, but like. Do you remember the last kind of time that happened? Yeah, I think I couldn’t remember. Do you remember what kind of issue it was? It was definitely political. Political. Okay. Clay stairs. Have you had a time that’s ever happened to you? Yeah, it’s been a while back because I don’t do the social media a lot, but it has been awhile back in. It was a personal attack on me there to fly a family member. There it is and it’s online. It’s out there online. Just go out there today because people are online showing there what Marshall that they’re showing

they should be online.

Yeah.

Right. Okay. So again, I’m just trying to help somebody out there, the average person to watch and five point two hours a day per per day of TV. You know what? I think that actually if I had to choose, you say give up smart and my smartphone or my tv, give up my social media, my tv. I’d rather you give up your social media. You get your social media is destroying your brain. Oh yeah, it is. You say clay destroying? Yes. Marshall, have you seen the, the smartphone or the article psychology today about how your smartphone is actually making you unhappy? Yeah, if you have you seen this stuff? Have you seen these articles? Oh yeah. Have you? Plus I talked to people every day who are constantly unhappy and they’re referencing things that are happening in. Let me, let me read this real quick, steve to you.

Yeah, go ahead. So you said you’ve talked to real people though. You said you’re talking to real people. Yeah, because everybody’s like, oh my God. Did you see even my wife, she’ll say, did you see? And I’m like, no, I didn’t see. Furthermore, I don’t care. So let me give you example. Here we go. Let me give you an example real quick. Okay, so this is what psychology today says. It says why your smartphone is destroying your life and what you can do about it. Today. I’m psyched to address ms dot. By the way, a phd. I’m writing this article based on clinical research today. I’m psyched to address an issue that plagues us all. It excites me so much. It even rivals Karaoke on my personal passion scale, but first a question would be, would you like to be smarter, more empathetic, and have better relationships?

The majority of us would probably say yes. What if I told you you can improve all these things for free was just one small act. Now you’re perhaps both intrigued and suspicious. I promise it’s not a trick. You can have all these things and you need only to do one thing, disconnect from your smartphone and it goes on to about obsessive. We scrolling through social media isn’t only bad for your head, it’s bad for your boss because you’re not working. You’re engaging in comparison argument, your resentment. A Marshall, can you read the notable quotable here from um, uh, this would be the notable quotable from novel Novella Robuchon yes. The, the early stage investor in a uber, twitter, and other social media platforms who openly talks about how you shouldn’t use these things. Okay. He says, I don’t think modern science has good answers here. I think that modern world is actually really bad.

The modern world is full of distractions. Things like twitter and facebook are not making you happy. They are making you unhappy. You’re essentially playing a game that’s created by the creators of those systems and yes, it can be a useful game once in a blue moon. You’re engaging in the dispute and resentment, comparison, jealousy, anger about things that frankly don’t just don’t matter. Yeah. Naval ravikant and that, you know that. Is it Steve, you said it just a moment ago. It. It just draws you in to start caring about things that don’t matter right out of your control or they just don’t matter, but all of a sudden you care about it. Yeah. There a major, major events and I’m not minimizing anything but major, major world events that happened that I don’t have a clue about except the lettuce thing by the way. Okay.

The romaine lettuce. I didn’t know to. The only ones that I know anything about Romaine lettuce is because someone was making like a lettuce, like a joke about Romaine lettuce and I was like, oh, I didn’t get it. And they’re like, oh, you know, it’s like, and I’m like, I would have no idea. I guess I would have died from eating Romaine lettuce or something because I just don’t. I refuse to watch the news. I used to be a big watcher of Fox News. I’m just for the political side of it and I just don’t watch the news. Furthermore, I do get on facebook and Instagram, but I don’t go through the feet. I post my thing, what I’m going to do that that is for my company and that I’m simply saying to you out there, if you are ever saying I don’t have time to get something done, I would suggest you get off your smartphone.

Now I’m telling you this because I, I. This is me. I personally, if I have a deadline, I get it done. And if you said, hey, can you get it done? I get it done, but if I couldn’t get it done and I was on smart phones all the time on social media and I’m using that as an excuse. You’ve got to figure out what. Where’s your time going? Yeah, and for the almost everyone, it’s going to social media and TV. Now Marshall a Paul Graham. This is the guy behind Airbnb, reddit, dropbox, y combinator. He says, what about smart phones? I’ve never carried an iphone.

Now psychology today, excerpt from psychology today says what? What’s of the fun fact? Fun fact here again about about the number of interruptions were getting the typical smartphone owner interacts with his or her phone in average of 85 times per day. So if you’re out there right now, I want you to ask, I want. I want you to write down the answer to this question. Is Your smartphone a tool for you or are you a tool for your smartphone? That’s question number one. What if you’re a tool for a whole different reason? Nevermind, go high. Believe that people are becoming a tool. I see it all the time now because then question number two is how much money did you bring in this year in your business as a result of interacting with people on social media and if that number is a really high number, then keep doing it.

Keep using social eight gun, but if it’s not, get out of there. Yeah, so I’m going to give specific examples that my mind cannot handle and I must cathartic really share with you one dentists. Nobody wants to read your blog. Did Mr. dentist? No one wants to read the blog. Marshall. Nobody wants to read a dental blog. No. Why? Because it’s a dental blah. Right? Okay. Mr. Mr. podiatrist out there. Nobody wants to look at your facebook posts about how many new patients you have this week. Really? No one cares Mr. Mortgage, okay. Mr. Real estate, anyone in the real estate world, people want to hire you to help them sell their house or to get a mortgage or whatever. They do not care about your 17 tips for getting your house ready to sell. Oh, Steve, how many people have you met? Real estate agents?

Who are wasting crazy amounts of time coming up with their 407 steps or they’re rude. They’re shameless reposts of other people’s posts. About your 407 steps to getting ready for an open house. Yeah, everyone and I think the mentality is for a lot of people in businesses, I think there’s like a quick way, a quick answer, a get rich quick type thing and they think, oh no, you know, like we talked about the click funnels. Oh No, you just put a click funnel and nothing is going to replace you doing the work to get deals in the door for your business and you can’t replace that by posting funny memes on facebook now, but you might enjoy posting funny memes and posts them for fun, but don’t expect to get business from it. I don’t know people that use. If you might be the only person that I know who uses social media for fun and doesn’t get used by social media, if you might be.

I don’t know. People that use social media for fun and don’t get used by social media. I can honestly tell you, I don’t care at all about what anybody ever posts at all on social media or what I post on social media. I don’t care because it doesn’t matter. All I care about is my wife, my kids, my friends, my customers and my partners. I don’t care what other people think about trump today. I don’t care about Obama and trump embracing each other at the funerals. I don’t care about the wall that needs to be, but I don’t care. All I care about is what I can control. And Marshall, why is it so powerful when you only focus on what you can control? Why is that a powerful idea? Because then you begin to sing the most change in activity within your life towards your goals.

Last night you came over to work with my son on music mixing. Yes. What was happening when you first came upstairs? Uh, you guys were practicing mixing in between songs for the upcoming party. Cause that’s all I care about is my son. I don’t care about trump or obama or who died recently. I don’t care about the school shooting over there, the school shooting over here. I don’t care about the resentment that the issues. I don’t care about volcanic eruptions. I don’t care about global warming. I don’t care about a new floating island. You may have found I don’t care at all about anything except for the things that matter to me, which are my wife and my kids and so I’m Dj with my son Marshall. Why would I be deejaying with my son on a Tuesday night? Why? Because that’s how you would enjoy spending your time and why would I not be on social media?

Sitting on the couch with my son pretending to be mentally present, but being on social media because why am I not just physically with him, but then spending my time on the couch trying to play it off like I’m paying attention going. Yeah. Right. A monkey brain. Well, why am I not doing that? Because being a good dad is important to you. Lisa is your wife. How long have you guys been married? Clay stairs. We have been married for 20 years this year. And you just got back from a trip? We did. Where’d you go? We went to Colorado Springs. You guys had a great time. We had an incredible time. What was the highlight of their trip? No, we didn’t go skiing. It was her birthday. She was looking for an adventure. Yeah. And she turned 20, 22 again. That’s exactly. So we, I created, just getting there, took awhile.

We uh, did rented a car or in a car, got an overnight train, which was awesome. Did a greyhound bus. Nice. How was that? How was that the bus? It was just a two hour bus ride. But uh, the festival personality was so good. Okay. Uh, yeah. And uh, just had a wonderful, wonderful time. Then flew home. Would you argue that being. Do you agree that being present is a present? Oh yes. Totally. Marshall, do you agree with it? Here’s the thing is it’s not just social media. Social media is a big part of that. But imagine all of the phone calls, all the text messages, even business related. If your phone is always on you and it’s always president, it distracts you. It takes you away because you don’t know who it is. I got to take this just a minute and this is my favorite, is a, hey, what do you need?

I’m in a meeting. I’m like, I’m here in a meeting. Why are you in right now? Here’s your. Here’s another. I’m a big, big thought today. So again, the capstone, the major thought, the big three for building this book in our. In our minds. The topic is you want to use social media Marshall to show your ads, but you don’t want to use social media to show your. You don’t want to show you right now. If that’s the main point, right? Because you want. You want the main. The main point is you want to use social media as a tool and not become a tool as a result of Israel. If that’s the main point. The second point I want to share with you is that being present is a present. Nice. Being present is a present in every day is a gift and we’re running out of them, so being present is the present, but everyday is a gift.

So imagine God gave you a picture in your mind, a bunch of Christmas gifts. Okay. And the Christmas gifts were like this, um, you had 365 gifts per year. So you get one per day, right? And you get to have those for 73 years. Right? Okay. So, but you don’t remember the pride, the first five of them or the last five of them? Think about that. So you really only get to remember 63 of those. So you really only get 63 years of daily gift each day. That gift is called life. Hmm. That means you only have 22,000, 995 gifts to open. So remembering that you’ll be dead soon is very, very important at all times. That’s why when people asked me to do lunch without reservation, I say no, unless I want to go to lunch. And when I am at lunch with you, you’ll know that I want to be with you because I’m not distracted.

So I have a notable quotable. I want you to read by Ray Dalio and why? One, as you read it, I want the listeners to think about it and I want clay stairs to chime in first on this quote that he has never seen before that we’re introducing to the show. It’s from Ray Dalio, a guy who’s worth over $10,000,000,000, one of the best investors of all time, a hedge fund investor guide and Marshall and read the. I’m gonna. Have you read the notable? Let me keep the music I want you to read. I want you to read the notable quotable three times please. Okay, here we go. Let me get it. We’ll get it. Ready. Here we go. No, it’s quote, meeting by Marshall,

having the basics, a good bed to sleep in, good relationships, good food and good sex.

Oh

is most important and those things don’t get much better when you have a lot of money. You’ll see ways that y’all saying relationships don’t get better just because have more money. Don’t get better. No food. Don’t get bed off when you have to know what’s happening or much worse when you have less and the people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special than those one meets at the bottom or in between.

What does that mean to you, clay stairs, that quote? What does that mean to you?

I think that there can be, you know, the grass is greener on the other side idea that uh, if I could only get to a certain place, then life will be better over there. People will be better over there. My fulfillment will be better. My, uh, my marriage will be better. My parenting will be better, everything will be better over there. And that ain’t true. Can I tell you what’s better about getting to the top?

I’ve got a few things that are better. Okay. Here we go. Confidence. Yes. Knowing that I got myself here, feels great. Knowing that I woke up today at 3:00 again. Feels great. Yeah. Depositing money doesn’t feel that great. Never needing to worry about what things cost ever is great. Very good. I knew I never go to the store. I’m like, I’m wondering what that costs. So people ask me what were the price of eggs or something. I don’t know. What’s the price of milk? Donut? What? Uh, I couldn’t tell you donut. I don’t know. Nope. I like be able to go out to eat and they say, you know, would you like a beverage? Sure. Yeah, it’d be great because I remember like going, why don’t we split this salad we’re going to have together at apple piece of it doesn’t. I would split the salad and not get a drink.

I like to really just get what I want, but the people at the top who I’ve got to be good friends with, I liked those relationships better because I shared their values. But I can say like I’ve Marshall and you’ve seen a lot of it too because you’ve been there along that ride. There are some pretty shady people. It didn’t matter how much money you have, you’re gonna run into him. It was right. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, the food mean only can be so good. Right? I mean it’s, it’s good, but it’s going to be so good. Right? Let’s. Right. And it gets kind of weird at the very top of the food chain. By the way, the food, the food starts to get really weird. Oh yeah, let’s see. A baby cow. I don’t get it. It just gets kind of weird.

Like let’s not cook that fits that. Cook the fish at all. I mean, I guess I like Sushi, but it just gets kind of weird. The higher up you go, it’s like I would never eat that at all. I think Kinda middleclass foods better in my opinion. But anyway, so the food, a lot of it. But Marshall, what happens if you’re out there just becoming a tool of money, just becoming a tool and you just work every single second of your day for money and you never scheduled time to play basketball or to Dj with your son or to go into an extended date with your, with your wife, taking your wife on an anniversary trip. What happens if you focus entirely on money and you become a tool of money? Marshall, what happens? Well, money doesn’t provide the fulfillment. Money is the magnifier among the things that you.

Oh, that’s good. Yeah. So money will magnify the core values and the way that you want to spend your time. And so the money is not the end goal, but can be a vehicle in order to magnify the enjoyment that you received from all those core values. No clay stares. Money. Why is it so dangerous to let money make you a tool? Uh, well, for one thing, money is fleeting and it can be. Can come today, gone tomorrow. There’s always more money to get. This is one of the things that a clay I find with several of the clients that I work with in clay, I think that it really takes months for them to break this habit in their brain of. I just need to take one more phone call. There’s just, there’s just one more email. I just need to do one more.

I just need to close one more deal. I just. And, and this, this chasing of money. How many days a week are you working right now? Right now I’m working three days a week. This is my Friday today. You. So you’re saying you work three days a week right now? Yes sir. Could you make more money if you worked more days? Yes. Why don’t you work more? Because I have met my goal. Do you have a boundary that’s powerful for yourself? Yeah, I want. I want time freedom. I don’t want to just have more and more and more money. So interest. I want to have some time freedom. So I’ve been able to. And Clay, you’re the one that’s helped me do this. It’s funny though because when we, every time I’ve brought these because clay stairs, uh, has been a client of mine for a long time, seven years, seven years, and I remember clay stares.

You said things to me in our first couple of meetings and I don’t know why, what it, what happens when they get stuck in my mind and then I won’t like let it out of my mind. Just like Rachel MP with tip top canine. She told me, she says, I know that you have other businesses, but this is our only business. So it has to work stuck in my head I said it will work, I don’t lose. And now we’ve opened up nine locations. You told me you wanted to become a teacher, a have a school of some kind and have time freedom and financial freedom. Yep. Because you want to spend more time with your wife. So I thought okay, let’s do it. But over time I kind of have to remind you of that goal and I think might do it. I think be like, what is he up to?

Because I go, I think it’s time for you to do. We talked about about. It was like I think it’s time for you not to work on Fridays or something. Yes you did. And then it was like it man. That was amazing when you said this. Like okay, thanks for the permission. But it was weird because I think you were like, I think we almost got in an argument over. I think you were like, what’s your motive here? Yeah, what are you doing? Well, and then you. And I said, I don’t think you should, should work on Thursdays either. I think you should not do that. And I remember again, it was like that was probably three years later, four years later it was like what? And then we talked to recently. I’m like, I think all you should be doing as coaching your coaches and onboarding because your team is doing a fine job.

Yeah. And that like, I think these ideas of having time freedom, I don’t think people have ever thought about what you would do if you had the time. So I encourage you today is I want everyone to make a list marshal of the six F’s. Okay. And I’m going to type the F’s, but I would like for you to share what the FSR. Okay. So this is your six f’s, your f six goals. Okay. Number one is faith. What is your faith? What are the things that you wanted to achieve in your faith? So I’m not going to stand on the microphone here and tell you what your goal should be, but when and where are you going to work on your faith, your faith goals. Okay. I believe you can’t get to heaven through works, but I like to try, so I’d like to be just a little bit better spiritual marshall.

That’s my goal. Oh, can take us seriously. You have to have a set time though, right? To, to achieve this goal. Right. So your faith goal is what? What do you, what is your goal? My goal is the thing that allows me to grow spiritually is to watch td jakes in the morning. During my time. Yup. Regularly. I think I’ve shared some td jakes videos with you. We’ve gone back and forth and when referring to other different videos, but that’s what I get from my goals and then being able to attend church, a Catholic mass with my mom when she wants me to attend with her. And when you scheduled time for that, that means you’re not doing something else. That’s right. Okay. Goals for family, Marshall, what are your goals for your family? For a family, for family, for he asked the man who was not married, but I’m asking people out there want to know.

Mainly me. Come on. Mainly me. Uh, so I, I right now have locked off every weekend on Sundays. I want to have time with my family. I go over to my parents’ house, I spend time with them. I spend time with you and to you and to inbreeding. Is that what you’re saying? Uh, yeah. So I go over there and then, and then, uh, you know, it’s about to that point. It’s on the percolation. That’s on the percolation level. Well, what is the goal where I might jump back into dating? Would you ever. Would you ever get married? Was that, was that something you ever could? Definitely getting married. Really? Yeah. I’d love to get. Do you have in your mind, in your mind that you say certain attributes this, this has to be, this has to happen for this to be a fit. God repetitive.

This is going to be the biggest downloadable podcasts. We’re finding out what Marshall’s looking at being serious though. See, this person has to have be competitive. Yeah. Got To be competitive. You got to have a big drive. What else are musts? Character traits has to be funny. A lot of. A lot of funny. Yeah. See, I know these things about you. We’ve talked about this a little bit in the past before I know these things, but you have goals. That’s right. Very specific things in my mind. So you are not going to become a tool of the dating scene. Right? And you’re not going to know, but don’t you? Don’t. You know, people like that. They will take anybody that moves. They’re cute. They’re cute. I guess I could. I could. You know, I come back and make it work. What are you doing? Have goals, finances, financial goals, finances.

You got to schedule when and where are you going to devote yourself where finances and work is the top priority. They’re friends are not the top priority. Your family’s not the top priority. You want to chime in on my goals real quick here? Okay. All I want to do is coach coaches, do the conferences and then this podcast and that’s pretty much all I want to do and I pretty much am almost there, but there’s little things that have to happen, but I know my goals, but I have been approached with some really, really lucrative offers this year and I’ve said no to all of them. One guy literally called me and said, if you will take over my business and he had multiple locations, you know, I will. I’ll pay you. Is a nice sour. It was like 12,000 bucks a month and I’ll split profits with 50 slash 50 if you’ll take over, if you know why I said no, because it’s not part of your goals.

Right. And again, every day’s a gift. Only have a certain number left. I don’t wanna waste my time. Fitness Marshal fitness goals. What are your fitness goals? Fitness goals? I have scheduled, I believe it’s three or four days a week. Um, now that I am going and working out, I’m lifting weights. I’m getting cardio in. It’s good. I was going to ask you enjoy that. Yeah. These are, these are these, why is it so important you have goals? Because otherwise if it’s not on the schedule, if I don’t have time blocked out to actually do these things, it’s never going to get done. Have you met people who have become a tool of the gym? Oh yeah. Have you? Oh yeah, and I, and again, I met people that have become a tool of social media, of the GM of money. I know people that work out obsessively and hate their lives and they never have time to fix them because they’re always working out [inaudible].

I know some people that hey, their life, but they have so much money they spent and every, every second day in pursuit of money, they don’t enjoy their life. Now, friendships, Marshall Friendships, you have some friendship goals. This is. See, this is an interesting one because we just got finished talking about friends and who’s who are friends, what you need to be friends and what you don’t need to be friends. So this is a good one. So what I found is I’ve found that my definition of friendship has changed over time. It used to mean one thing to me, now it means something entirely different than it used to mean this. Okay. If I’ve known you for an extended period of time or worry related, we’re friends. So like if we went to school together and college or we were related, I will always be your friend [inaudible].

I used to. We used to work together anytime that geography was convenient. Yeah. And I’ve known you for an extended period time. I would say we’re friends, but now I say if we don’t share values and time, we’re really not friends. I uh, I ignored somebody earlier this week. Oh, but I used to talk to regularly, daily, just ignored it 100 percent because I asked myself, am I going to enjoy any part of responding to this text message? The answer was no. So I was like, no, not going to happen. There’s a person whose name I will not mention, but who I interviewed for our show. Big, big, big, very successful person. And our preinterview. I asked him, I said, hey, is there like a life hack that you want to share about on today’s show? And he goes, well, yeah, I’m a. One thing I do is if my phone rings and the person who shows the name that comes up on the phone, right, if there’s an up arrow in front of her name, that means I like them because they lift me up.

It was a down Arrow that’s like a Debbie Downer and that means I don’t ever answer the phone ever. And I said, that’s awesome. Can we show it? And he said, no, I, I probably, I, I probably shouldn’t share that, share that. But he literally will not answer the phone unless you’re an up here. And I said, how many people were on the up? He goes, like, 10 maybe. Wow. And this is a huge author who’s liked by everybody. And I said, anybody who calls you that doesn’t have an apparel. He goes, yeah, I got like 10 of my phone. That’s my move. Yeah, I mean that’s the move. Craig. Rochelle has two phones. You got a separator. He has two different phones. Pastor Craig Rochelle is two phones. Yeah. So the capstone thought again today. Now. Fun. Still about fun. Yup. Clay stares. Um, have you ever seen people that become tools to fun?

Always in pursuit of fun and entertainment? Always. Always rafting, yeah. Always skiing, always. No, seriously, always skiing, always rafting, always coming to a trip, getting back from a trip, going to a trip, coming back, always traveling. Have you seen that? Or just caught up in the entertainment world of the athletic sports and athletics and going to games. I was thinking of some of the worst vices of fun entertainment vices. And then you said rafting. We had a very, very skilled member of our team years ago who would always disappear. I mean every three weeks. So I got to go to Colorado. I can’t man, I can’t work this week. Hello. Okay. I got to go skiing. I got to go rafting, go skiing. And it was always going rafting or coming back from mapping. And so I could never promote the person because they couldn’t ever string together more than four weeks in a row of being on time or do they come back from rafting?

They’re always like horse, you know, and they’re like, they’re sunburned and they’re, they’re very hoarse. And I’m like, man, you guys what happened? Right? Oh man, it’s unbelievable. Man is free to us. And then they would spend like the Monday they got back talking to everyone about their trip and not working at all. And then the day before they left on the trip, it was like the last day of school. Oh yeah. And they never worked then either. But they were a slave to their travel schedule. So again, if you’re out there and you are becoming a tool to anything, don’t let it happen. Yes. You know, don’t, don’t let it happen. Don’t become a slave or a tool to something. And that would be my capstone thought. I want to end today’s show with Nice. And Mr. Rush, do you feel good about ending today? Show I feel good about.

Uh, yeah, absolutely. I don’t feel good. Yeah. Can you read the Ray Dalio quote one more time? I don’t want to feel good. I wanted to feel good. I was on the verge of having the basics, a good bed to sleep in. Good relationships, good food and good sex is most important. And those things don’t get much better when you’ve, when you have a lot of money or much worse when you have less. And the people one meets at the top aren’t necessarily more special than those one meets at the bottom or in between. Yeah, that’s big. That’s big. The guys, he’s like Yoda. He is like a yoga business. His book is called principles and aims. Ray Dalio, I would love to have him on the show in the future. I think so far I’ve been rejected several times, but I’m going to circle back until eventually he says yes, I love that. Alright. And so now any further I do three, two, one, boom.