Business Coach | Idiots are Everywhere

This business coach post explains how idiots are everywhere.

In this online business coach session, we are asking, wondering, and evaluating the following questions: When did we transform from a democracy to an idiocracy? When did we replace real heroes like Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, Vince Lombardi, and the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. with potentially-demon-possessed or dumb heroes like Lil’ Wayne, Octo-Mom, Kim Kardashian, and Robert Downey Jr.? Just turn on any news station for thirty minutes or less and you are almost guaranteed to come across some news story announcing the newest unemployment numbers and some sex tape that has been released by some American celebrity. “Too many jobs are being outsourced,” one talking head will say. “America simply cannot compete with cheap foreign labor,” another will say. A conservative voice and “economic expert” will quickly look for a way to blame President Obama for the “poor unemployment outlook.” A liberal “economic analyst” will no-doubt find a way to blame a greedy American entrepreneur for being a “cold-blooded capitalist hell bent on profits regardless of the damage they are doing to the American economy.” Then a talking head will come on and talk about Lil’ Wayne’s most recent drug sentence, the legacy of Tupac, and what drug this celebrity or that celebrity is on.

It’s amazing to me that the concept of America’s deteriorating ideals is not discussed more often in the media. Although the unemployment statistics get talked about every day, the “elephant in the room” for most of today’s businesses, is that nearly half of our workforce is either dumb, dishonest, or distracted. American kids are now growing up hoping to become the next Teen Mom star on MTV or the next face-tattooed rapper. As our country has systematically replaced our role models, we have also attempted to tear down the credibility of people with integrity.

Verify this insanity by going to your local mall. Sit, watch, and take notes. There are idiots everywhere.

As our country promotes this next generation of heroes, schools are pumping out an army of morons into the marketplace. Colleges and online universities are sending confused people into the workforce who are incredibly dumb, morally deprived, and disengaged from living a life filled with any semblance of meaning. Many of our business coachi clients’ companies are being forced to fire people because they demand high wages for terrible work. Many of the business coach clients I work with simply refuse to drive American automobiles because their experience has taught them: it’s better not to drive a vehicle that was built by a dumb, dishonest, and distracted employee.

Forget China, forget inflation, forget the “gloom and doom” economic reports. Many of America’s business leaders are being forced to fire people just because they are incompetent. Unlike previous generations where most people had much of their stupidity and rebellion scared out of them by Dad at home, today the majority of Americans are growing up without a dad at home. Just take a look at the incarceration statistics and you will quickly discover the link between absent fathers and absent-minded adults. Whether it’s a poor education system or just a poor mindset, people are truly getting less intelligent. Consider the fact that a Newsweek poll discovered nearly 25% of the population has no idea who the Vice President of our country is. Consider that fact that the majority of our country is unaware that buying a car with credit means that they will have to pay for the car nearly twice before they make their final payment. It’s truly astonishing how many people have no concept of what factors into a car loan. We now live in a country where studies are showing that people are more familiar with American Idol than they are with who is running for President of the United States.

Time and time again I hear business coach clients say, “Today we had to let someone go,” and  “Last week we had to let someone go.” These are the kinds of things I keep encountering as I travel around the country teaching “best-practice” business skills to today’s business leaders. Whether it’s a major food manufacturer or a local small business, virtually every day companies all over the country are being forced to “let people go” because of their lack of competence. Today, before I wrote this portion of the blog post, I physically watched in shock as the Office Manager for one of my business coach clients updated her Facebook and responded to at least a half dozen non-work-related text messages during and before an office meeting. This person had no fear of being caught and actually did this activity openly and right in front of her boss. This person then went on to explain during the meeting that they didn’t have time to get all of their work done this week. Sure, some layoffs are related to jobs being shipped overseas; however, many times, these employers are not being forced to let people go because the economy is bad. They are being forced to let people go because they are terrible employees. I’ve had conversations with home-builders, call-center operators, print shop owners, and numerous business owners who have said, “I can’t find a decent American worker anywhere! I sincerely believe that in order to make it, we are going to have to hire illegal workers from other countries if we can’t find some decent American workers soon.”

Countless Human Resources Directors across the country have told me that around one-third of the people who apply for jobs at their company tell them that they “really don’t want to start working until their unemployment runs out.” Are you kidding me?! These same Human Resources Directors have told me that more people are quitting their jobs than are losing their jobs due to a layoff or job elimination. It’s truly astonishing and mind-boggling. Today’s business leaders are having to let people go because they are managing morons who check their social media updates every five minutes. Companies are being forced to fire people because they will not stop texting back and forth with their boyfriend long enough to get anything done. My friends, whenever I ask these Human Resources Directors, “What’s the biggest limit on your business’ growth?” I nearly always hear, “If you could find some people who were honest and who actually showed up on time, we could be growing by leaps and bounds.”

Dealing With Dumb Employees:

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

– Mariah Carey, pop singer

Consider this, research written about in the New York Times is now showing that 45% of people who have attended college for two years are now (for the first time in history) showing no improvements in their cognitive or critical thinking skills.

Verify this insanity at: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/21/what-do-test-scores-tell-us/

At the middle school and high school level, kids are supposed to learn how to learn. As more and more technology gets brought into the classroom, less and less teaching is being done. Teachers are simply clicking through an endless series of multi-media presentations on their “fancy” technology presentation boards while students are listening to Lil’ Wayne on their iPhones. The teacher’s job of instructing and inspiring students has now been replaced with their new job of babysitting, breaking up fights, taking attendance, and managing the kids in a “politically correct way.” Large numbers of teachers I’ve spoken to have told me that they spend well over half of their time dealing with behavior problems, and what’s left of their time is now spent teaching.

Dealing With Distracted Employees:

Distracted Driving Kills People, Distracted Workers Kill Your Bottom Line

We all know the research clearly shows that distracted driving kills people. It is a little tough to focus on driving while sending an intense text to your ex. It is difficult, if not impossible, to turn right on red while attempting to learn what happened at yesterday’s meeting via text. We all know how frustrating it can be to watch a movie with someone who will not quit asking questions while the film is showing, or how maddening it can be to golf with someone who keeps taking cell phone calls while you are attempting to putt.

However, businesses throughout the country are paying employees who are completely mentally disengaged from the workplace. Joe is texting Sally about dinner plans, the upcoming game, and home drama on your time and all of the time. Countless research is now showing that between non-work related emails, smoke breaks, social media, video games, and non-work related texting, nearly 40% of the average employee’s workday is spent doing something other than working. And again, nearly half of those people are already struggling with being dumb and dishonest.

Verify this insanity at: http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/kimkomando/story/2012-02-24/work-monitor-smartphone/53221804/1

Although the information above makes me want to staple my forehead out of frustration, I am sincerely encouraged about your ability to devote yourself to studying successful companies and doing what they have done to build their billionaire dollar brands. However, because I know that you are too busy to devote ten years of your life to reading case studies to develop the action plans as I have done, the rest of this post and subsequent posts are dedicated to providing you with the proven and practical business coach and plans used by America’s biggest and most beloved brands. In this uncertain economic environment, Disney, QuikTrip, Chik-Fil-A, Southwest Airlines, Apple, and other companies are still producing BIG RESULTS by implementing these plans and now you can too!

Dealing With Dishonest Employees:

Will Your Stuff Still Be There When Your Employee Goes Home For the Night?

Assuming that you have found an employee who does not have a koi fish tattoo on their neck and actually shows up on time, you still could not be in the clear. According to a study done by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and written about in Inc. Magazine, one-third of all business bankruptcies are a result of theft in the workplace. This is insane to me. Shouldn’t this be talked about? To me one-third is an absurdly large percentage. Wow, please excuse me as I deal with my nausea.

Verify this insanity at: http://www.inc.com/articles/1999/05/13731.html

As America’s youth continues to replace legitimate role models with those who are famous for their roles in sex tapes, our country’s overall standards are rapidly lowering. Kids are now basing their moral standards on the morality displayed by the morons they look up to like Lil’ Wayne and other celebrity idiots. These people are famous for tattooing their face, rapping about having sex with random people, and getting arrested for possessing more pot than a Mexican drug cartel. The overall American pop culture is teaching kids who have grown up without fathers that morality is all about doing what feels good at the time. Through their actions of lying, cheating, and stealing, artists like 50 Cent and athletes like Mark McGuire have told this generation of fatherless kids that it’s totally fine to do unethical things as long as it gets them where they want to go. Nonsense!

My friends, morality is no longer common. In fact “common sense” is no longer common. Whether we endorse the downward spiral of America’s morals or not, you must accept the reality that at least ¼ of your employees are lying to you, stealing from you, or cheating you in some way. To prevent yourself from getting robbed blind, you must embrace Ronald Reagan’s philosophy of “trust but verify.” You simply can’t afford not to.

Because I understand that most entrepreneurs feel alone at the top of their business mountain, I thought it would be therapeutic to conclude this post with a list of the many dishonest excuses that deceitful employees have actually said to me over the years. Although they all irritated me to the point that I wanted to crush their dishonorable skulls at the time, I must admit that some of these really do make me laugh now when I look at the idiocy on display in their statements.

“Hey boss, what’s the policy on calling in sick? I feel really terrible this morning. It must have been something I ate.” (Found out later that the dishonest employee was so drunk the night before that he could not walk.)

“No, this coat is not Jason’s coat. I know it looks like Jason’s coat, but it is not Jason’s coat.” (Later we discovered that this employee actually had the audacity to steal the coat and wallet from a coworker. This moron then had the lack-of-a-soul needed to actually wear this stolen coat to work every day while sitting fifteen feet from the person from whom he had stolen the coat and wallet.)

“Hey Clay, I wanted to call in because I’m at the hospital with my mom who has cancer.” (Found out later that he was at a strip club every time he said that.)

“Clay, I’ve literally made over 100 calls per day every day this week to our prospective clients. I think people just don’t want to buy because the economy is so tough.” (Found out later that he was calling his girlfriend and the same business over and over nearly 300 times within 6 days in order to “fake” his call numbers.)

“Clay, I realize that the gas bill was THREE TIMES more than normal, but that is just because the gas prices went up.” (We later discovered by doing some basic math that a twelve cent per gallon increase in the cost of gas had not tripled the cost of gas. After doing further research, we discovered that the employee had filled his boat up with gas using the company credit card.)

“Boss, I think it’s cool that your friend is a pop star. I don’t know if you know this, but I was actually in a band back in the day. In fact, I’m a phenomenal singer.” (Only after we forced him to sing through relentless peer pressure did he fess up to the fact that he was a liar who was never in a band.)

“Hey man, I have definitely taken out the trash every day this week.” (We later discovered that the employee had not taken out the trash for three weeks when a scourge of fruit flies descended upon us like the plague of death.)

“Dude, you know that I am totally not the kind of guy that would screw you. I’m telling you, I drove around for like three hours looking for the place.” (Found out the employee actually just decided to skip work that day so that he could go out on a date.)

“The traffic is unbelievable here on the highway!” (We soon discovered a pathological liar in our midst. This employee ran into traffic every week for nine weeks in a row before we decided to fire him.)

“I promise that I have mailed everything out on time. Seriously, I have never mailed anything late, it must be Fedex and UPS.” (We found out that this employee, who actually had the audacity to blame both UPS and Fedex for his incompetence, had never actually mailed any of the documents he was referring to on time.)

“I always call the clients back. Those four people must just be weird.” (We soon discovered that this employee also had over fifteen unchecked voicemails dating back as far as one month.)

“Boss, I didn’t know that we had a no-sunflower-seed-eating-policy-in-the-office. You guys are always changing stuff without telling me.” (These comments were made after it was discovered that they were spitting sunflower seeds under their desk on the sales floor.)

“Sir, I would never compete with you. In fact, I would never run a business that competes with you after all you have done for me.” (Discovered later that this person had been systematically telling all of our loyal customers that he was leaving our company because we were drug addicts, and he felt like he could no longer be a part of our team. The irony of the situation is that he was the one who was actually fired for drug use.)

“I have been using the system every week and it just does not work. It is really disheartening because I have been putting my heart into it and I’ve never seen any results.” (We found out later that he had never actually done the marketing activities and had been systematically lying to us at every juncture to justify his laziness.)

My friend, please take hold of this business coach tip and follow Ronald Reagan’s timeless and sage advice to “trust, but verify.”

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