Business Coach : Control Your Thinking
-In your life, you’ve obviously seen the law of reciprocity work a lot. But I want to ask you. If I’m watching this right now– I remember when I started my whole business. I was in an apartment with no A/C and no heat. Is was at 71st and Lewis, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, at the Fountaincrest Apartments behind the Marriott Hotel.
If I have very little money, very little time because I’m trying to start a business, I don’t have a lot of money, how can I start to generate the law of reciprocity in my life if I don’t have a lot of money or a lot of time?
-I think look for the simple things. It could be as simple as a phone call. I actually read a study that was talking about how a certain percentage of rich people call people on their birthdays when people that aren’t rich, they don’t. They don’t make that effort. But a person with a strong business coach will make a strong effort.
It really doesn’t take much time to pick up the phone and say happy birthday or text message happy birthday– simple things that don’t take a whole lot of time, but yet that person feels– that person cares about me.
-They’re feeling it.
ARTHUR GREENO: Absolutely.
-I guess the final capstone thought I want to share is that if you say over here there’s a social circle of NBA Hall of Fame players, former athletes and professionals and all that, and over here’s a social circle of successful entrepreneurs, and over here’s a success circle of, maybe, pastors and leaders, in over here is one of attorneys or business coach, and here’s one– I have noticed that in my life. I have to jump into that circle and say– hey! And I just know that this week, you and I have been working on this project together, but we finally got David Robinson, the NBA great Hall of Famer. Finally, we’re in that circle now.
And I can tell you, everybody watching this– it is uncomfortable. It’s tough when you fly out to San Antonio. Par of you is like– I hope he likes me. I mean, I’m pretty pale. He’s probably intimidated by my basketball skills. Or business coach skills.
-You think?
-Probably– probably yeah. I’m just thinking maybe he won’t like me. Maybe we don’t have a lot in common. So what I did to generate the law of reciprocity with David is I read his biography. I read every article I could, and I went there and I just decided– I’m going to generate conversational generosity. I’m just going to ask him questions about his life and his brother Chuck, who’s a pastor, and music, and things he’s into, so that it would generate a conversation.
-Absolutely.
-So even if you don’t have money or time, conversational generosity can work.
-Absolutely.
-Where you’re asking people questions about their life.
-Absolutely. And the fact that you took the time out to find out what’s going on their lives. You’re finding out with what they care about.
-He loved it. I could tell that he did. I was like– what do you offer the guy? So we showed up; we bought him a navy baseball jersey from the navy baseball team, because I knew he played baseball as a kid, and I figured he didn’t have one. So it’s the navy baseball jersey. On the back it says Thrive15, with the number 50 on it.
-How large did you have to make that?
-I didn’t get it big enough. He looked at it, and he was like– is this like a little boy shirt? It was too small. He’s seven-two. He might be seven-three. I mean, this guy’s massive.
And then I got him number-two reeds, because I knew he played the saxophone, so I got him tenor and alto reads. As a team, we got a lot of these neat little items so that he could go– these guys care.
Because what do you buy a seven-foot multimillionaire Hall of Fame player?
ARTHUR GREENO: That’s right.
-So I think it’s important that no matter where we are, whether it’s conversational generosity, whether it’s a gift, whatever we’re doing, we can do something right now to generate that.
-Some of the guys watching this may be scared of– what happens if I jump in there and they don’t like me? And what I tell a lot of people is when people come to me say– Arthur, can you sit down and give me some of your time?– and they’re trying to jump into my circle, I explain to them– what you think that I was thinking?
Because for me, I wasn’t thinking anything wrong with them at all. I was like– not a problem. I’ll be happy to share with you. And so I’ve got to think– well, if I’m thinking that when people try to jump into my circle, those guys probably aren’t thinking anything, either. So I’m going to do it. And you know what? If they don’t like me, I’ve done what I can. So now I’ll just go drown myself, or whatever it may.
-Well, a final recap, as always– make sure you don’t drown yourself. I think that’s something we can all support.
ARTHUR GREENO: Absolutely. That would be bad.
-That would be bad. It would make it even harder to get enough points to win the Thrive price if you’re drowning.
-That’s right.
CLAY CLARK: Hey– thank you for you time.
-My pleasure.
CLAY CLARK: I appreciate you as a business coach.